If i knew what i had the license to,

dopamine hit

those little words

that little heart to acknowledge and reply

selah

that openness to say what i have been denying to myself 

bless your soul

makes me think the wait, the banshee me, the wilted times, the confused questioning times, the annoyed times, and every arduous times as 

meaningful beyond compare

----

i don't recall me having much sweets 

but when life gives such sugar rushes as 

you

im the best thumb sucker for a reason when a kid

i'm the welcome mat, the rock of my esteem

maybe miracles don't occur since there are many moments right there 

like the dust particles of brownian motion

they are there

but its freaking fucking nothing nothing nothing to me

i dont see it so why waste my energy?

and yet those lil pieces of you

waiting to be noticed, waiting to be acknowledged 

what does time do?

time slowly builds up that speck of sunlight beam, very very slowly

quantum things , all too tiny, but slowly sweeps in , and consumes the space

till i saw the many times you were you, your concern and care wrapped up in that beam