Sorcery | Loki x Fem!Reader

Part 55 | Homophobe

"I hate this job sometimes" Nat mumbled into her earpiece, faking smiles at men from behind her disguise.

"Me too" Loki replied, watching as you and the assail flirted your way across the club, aiming for the manager and well-known drug seller.

"Don't worry Lokes" you whispered, downing your glass of wine. "It's just as bad as it looks. On a side note, drug dealers are so boring. Honestly, every single time we have to flirt our way up to them then take them out. Nothing interesting ever happens on these missions."

"Feel free to tell him that, I'm sure the dealer will happily be more creative if you ask nicely" Nat smirked, twirling her hair around her finger. "I think I'm going to throw up."

"I'd rather rip their eyes out" Loki muttered venomously, watching over the rim of his whiskey as you laughed fakely with the dealers guards.

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*Thirteen Minutes Later*

"Fuck" Nat muttered, quickly pulling her hairpin out of the door handle and trying to act casual as a guard emerged from around the corner.

"Hey! What do you two think you're doing?"

"Oh, my apologies, I thought this was the bathrooms" Nat giggled, gesturing to the door with a pout. "But it's locked."

"Don't try that with me young lady!"

"Y/n, distraction in hallway 4 asap" the assassin muttered as the guard advanced on her.

"On it" you answered quickly, teleporting to the hallway beside it before stumbling around the corner loudly.

The guard turned around as you conjured a large bottle of rum, pretending to be drunk.

"Bella! There you are!" You slurred, stumbling towards Nat. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Excuse me ma'am but you can't be here" the guard demanded sternly, stepping between the pair of you.

"Why aren't you letting me see my girlfriend?" You accused, poking his chest weakly with your finger. "Are you homophobic??"

"No of course not-"

"HOMOPHOBE!" You screeched, stumbling around before grabbing Nat's wrist. "HIW DARE YOU! LOVE IS LOVE!"

"I didn't mean-"

"OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T, THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY-"

"Stop being a drama queen" Nat interrupted, doing her best to hold back her laughter.

"Have it your way then" you smirked, dropping the rum on the floor with a smash before teleporting the two of you back to Loki.

"We'll have to find a another way in now" she sighed, stealing a lemon slice from a passerby's drink.

"Preferably one that doesn't involve my wife having to seduce another man" Loki grumbled, wrapping an arm around your waist. "I do not agree with that plan."

You stretched up to kiss his cheek, stealing Nat's lemon slice and eating it before she could. "I agree, that plan sucked."

"Of course it did, it wa Tony's" Nat grinned, leaning behind the bar to take a container full of lemon slices. We've messed it up too much tonight but we can make another plan and try again at the next meet up in a few weeks."

"Can you two stop eating those lemon slices? It's strange" the God sighed, watching in slight amusement as you both turned to face him, citrus in your mouths.

"No."

"Of course not" he chuckled. "Let's get back to the tower."

Grabbing Nat's hand, you teleported the three of you back, the rest of the team in various states disarray around the room.

Vision was attempting to teach Sam, Pietro and Peter how to play Poker in the corner but they all kept stealing each other's cards while Wanda was showing Steve and Bruce how to make cupcakes.

The rest of the team were blackout drunk, lying all over the floor and furniture.

"Ah! My brother and sister have returned alongside Lady Natasha!" Thor greeted, collecting up the humans and throwing them over Is shoulder to take them to bed. "How was the mission?"

"A fail" you replied, nudging a dead-looking Tony with your foot. "Nat couldn't get the door open and I had to shout at a guard calling him a homophobe as a distraction."

"I support the lgbtqiawht and plus community!" Thor declared proudly.

"A few more letters than necessary but close enough" Loki chuckled, checking that you weren't injured in any way.

"It was funny though" Nat grinned, leaning on the bench beside a concentrated looking Bruce.

You gasped, holding a hand to your heart. "Did I, a mere being wandering these treacherous plains known as Midgard, make the Black Widow laugh? I have succeeded in life."

"You are such a drama queen."

"As you stated earlier."

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Did I write this at 2am? Yes. Should I be worried about that? Probably

Am I? No

I feel like this isn't up to my usual standard because I've been away for while, but I promise I'll get my mojo back after a bit more writing

Anyway, enjoy :)