Festive Fake

17 - Now, who's blushing in front of everyone?

I waited until the door closed behind Nate, who was thrilled to help Granny make his pecan pie bread pudding, then sat beside my brother in the folding chair Nate had vacated. Thankfully, it was several yards from the fire, and the wind blew the smoke away from us.

"We need to talk."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Joby deadpanned, and I scoffed.

"I'm serious."

"I see that. What's up?" He lifted his chair and turned it to face me.

Now that I had his full attention, I wasn't sure where to start. We'd just had our first honest conversation in years. I didn't want to screw anything up.

He arched an eyebrow. "What's going on? You're stress twirling."

"No, I'm not." I yanked my finger from the tight twist of hair and folded my hands in my lap.

Joby smirked and waited for me to speak. He appeared so relaxed, leaned back in his seat with one booted foot crossed over his knee, happier than I'd seen him all week. It wasn't a tremendous leap to assume it was the time spent with Nate.

The olive henley he wore with the sleeves pushed up to show off his arms seemed too nice to wear burning limbs, but the color brightened his brown eyes. These two were doing their best to look good for each other while pretending they'd dressed for yard work.

I straightened in my seat. "You know what's stupid?"

"I'm sure you're going to tell me." Joby grinned.

Everything that had bothered me all week piled into my mind at once. "This is ridiculous." I flicked my hand toward the house. "All the nonsense. Dad tried to say I hurt Mother's feelings because I didn't tell her about Nate before we came here. Even if he was my boyfriend, why would I?"

"You know I don't tell anyone about mine." He shrugged.

I squinted at him. "I'm not joking. Dad says she wants what's best for us. Since when? I'm tired of trying to live up to her expectations. Aren't you?"

"Yeah, but it's not new."

"So what does that mean? You plan to do this forever?"

His eyebrows slammed down. "Not ideally, no." He picked his water bottle off the ground and took a drink. After putting the top back on, he dropped it and crossed his arms. "What do you want from me, Liv?"

I'd definitely ruined his mood. "Nothing. But I'm not doing too bad at life, and look at you. You're a responsible adult. You go out of your way to help people and put yourself last way too often. You're smart and funny, and yet you feel like you have to hide who you are because of these clowns?"

I pointed my thumb at the house. "Ruth Grace is on her sixth marriage. Sixth! Briar and Sawyer can't stand each other, and she was faking a marriage-saving pregnancy, but that mess is what we're being judged beside! Somehow, I'm lacking, and you have to lie about who you are. Who set this bullshit standard? Why do we do this to ourselves?"

He stared at the ground, but I knew he was listening. "I love you, Joby, and I'll support you no matter what. Just because I'm at the end of my rope doesn't mean you have to do anything. I'm only giving you a heads-up that if I don't lose my nerve. I'm done taking shit."

Standing, I moved the two steps separating us and leaned down to hug him. "Whenever you decide you're ready, I'm on your side. I won't care if you wait until we're old and gray, but I hope you don't. I hope you realize how awesome you are before you lose any amazing chances you might've spent the morning checking out."

As I turned to walk to the house, he said, "I love you too."

***

Hours later, Joby and Nate had finished the burning, and I was pacing the bedroom, waiting for Nate to get dressed after his second shower of the day. Granny expected us downstairs for dinner soon, and I still hadn't decided if I could really go through with coming clean about everything.