sixteen

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I'm sat at the dinner table with Stella and my mother. We haven't had a family dinner in awhile, so I thought it would be nice. "So, how are my two beautiful girls?" Our mother asks whilst Stella and I dig into the pasta she made for us.

"Good." I reply back whilst I wipe my mouth with a napkin, "How has your week been?" I ask the both of them whilst I take a sip of my water.

"Ugh, it was so fun! Noah took me out on a date and we both shared an ice cream sundae." Stella smiles whilst I nod my head, so she knows I'm still listening—because I have a tendency to just space out whilst people are talking about stuff I don't take much interest in.

Don't get me wrong, I'm so fucking happy for my sister, but when the subject is the same thing and she goes on and on about Noah, I just get bored of the guy.

"Uh-hum, girls?" Our mother grabs our attention, her voice suddenly serious.

"Yes?" Me and Stella ask in unison.

"I don't know how to start the conversation without rambling on, so I'm just going to say it...I'm seeing someone." Stella and I don't talk—we don't even move—as our mother's words register through our heads. Our mother hasn't even mentioned a guy since dad left when me and Stella were babies. Mum has always talked bad about men because of how our father had treated her.

"That's great." I finally speak up, "What's his name?" I can' tell by the way Stella's shoulders relax that she's happy I started the conversation and not her. I don't blame her really, this is a sore subject for mum.

"His name is Clyde." She smiles down at her plate softly. "I met him about a month ago...I'm sorry I didn't tell you girls sooner, I just didn't know how to tell you. You girls aren't mad at me, are you?"

"Of course we aren't." Stella speaks up this time, "If your happy, we're happy, mum." I nod my head in agreement and we both smile at her.

She lets out a huff of air, "That's such a relief. It's just that I know you girls would probably find it weird with a guy being around. Especially, when your farther wasn't. You're not used to having a male figure around, so I just didn't know what to expect." I reach for my mother's hand and squeeze it lightly, "Mum, I'm sure Clyde will be a better farther figure to us then our biological one ever could be." She smiles at me and kisses Stella and I on the head before she clears her throat, "More pasta?"

Me and Stella look towards eachother before nodding our heads with big smiles on our face's.

~*~

I find myself hanging out with Jaden in his room later that night. Me and Jaden have been getting really close lately, and in all honesty, I have no idea how to feel about it. I don't even know if he has broken things off with Ava yet. "Jaden?" He hums and looks up from his phone, "Are you and Ava still..?" He places his phone on his desk and makes a move to stand. I watch with curious eyes as he makes his way over to me and pulls me up before taking my place, bringing me down with him, so I'm sitting on his lap.

I lay my head on his shoulder whilst he gets more comfortable, "No. I...well I broke it off the night she came over on your birthday." Shock and surprise take over me as I pull away to face him, "For real?" I ask. He nods his head with a small smile on his face.

He's so fucking adorable.

"Yeah. Erm, when I saw you hadn't read my text, I was just going to come clean and tell you in person, but I guess I just got..."

"Scared?" I finish the sentence for him. He looks up at me and softly shakes his head, "I didn't know how to tell you, I didn't even think you would believe me, but when I saw you had read the text...well I guess it just fell into place, huh?" I laugh and nod my head.

"Yeah, I guess." I play with my hands, and avoid eye-contact, now unsure of how to act. I had only wanted a boyfriend to get Jaden out of my head, but now being this close and vulnerable with someone...it's scary. I didn't take into consideration how scary it really is to have this many feelings for someone, to care so much for someone. It's a whole new step I'm not sure I'm even ready to take.

It's scary to love someone.

My breath gets caught in my throat as it dawns on me, I love Jaden. "I make you nervous?" His voice isn't mocking when he asks the question, no evidence that he's making a joke out of it. When I look up, I instead find him smiling softly at me, like he's reassuring me that there's no need to be like this around him.

"I know I haven't been the best with my emotions and how I treat you, Lee, but you can trust me. That's one promise I'm never breaking." My eyes water when he holds out his pinky and memories flash back as the deja vu hits hard. I interlock our pinkies and smile, "Always." We both mumble before we laugh and we some how end up in a tickle fight.

I promise to always remember you from now on, Jaden. You are my always.

A/N
Okay, a lot of things. No.1 Leah loves Jaden !!! Also, we just hit 2k READS??? Thank you all so much, I literally can't thank you all enough for reading my ff <33

No.2 Noah Schnapp just came out as gay (I'm so proud of him).

No.3 Someone broke into Billie Eilish's house?!?!?!

Anddd, we are sadly coming to the end of this book. I'm not sure if I'm going to finish it in the next chapter, or the chapter after that.

And again, I'm sorry this is a short chapter :)

I hope you all have a great day/night <3 I love all of you. Stay safe.

Mwah <3

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