their lost girl

scars

VIOLETS POV

I slept for a while although not without struggle; I tossed and turned for hours against the soft mattress. I had never slept so comfortably, it didn't feel natural. I had grown so used to sleeping on the floor I had forgotten what it felt like to sleep comfortably. My eyes danced over to the doorway, the empty space where the door should be made me feel vulnerable, no door and sure as fuck no lock; I hated more than anything the feeling of vulnerability. When I lived with Emily and Robert every-night I'd lock my door and push my desk against it in order to protect myself. It was the only way I could protect myself, sometimes i'd wake up to Robert banging on my door and those nights I was extra grateful for that lock. That was the only life I knew and now as I lay against this unfamiliar but comfortable bed I wondered why I still felt just as vulnerable as I did then. No matter how far I would run or how much time could pass, the horrors of my past would always haunt me. 

"You'll never escape me doll" Jays words echoed within my mind. The familiar phrase had become etched into my mind after so many years. 

I tossed and turned a few more times, trying to force myself back to sleep. I sat forward in the bed grabbing a pillow and blanket before beginning to stumble to the closet. In the corner of my eye I saw the photo of mum and I. I grabbed it and held the frame close to my chest. Its all I had of her, all I had left and all I'll ever have. The light from the hallway dimly lit my room but I still stubbed my toe on the bed frame, I bit down on my lip trying to not make a sound.

I placed my pillow on the floor of the closet before locking the closet door and placing the framed photo next to my pillow. I laid down slowly as to not aggravate my injuries further, the pain medicine were helping but just not enough, my ribs were getting worse with every passing hour. A part of me hoped that my injuries would kill me before I could be hurt any further, before they realise just how pathetic I am and decide to punish me. I didn't want to live through that. 

My gaze wandered over to the picture of my mum and I, the feeling of worry beginning to fade from my soul. I spent my whole thinking Emily was my 'mother', thinking my own mother hated me and I destained that word for that very reason. She was no mother but as I look at my mum the way her warm hair cascades down her back and her scrunched nose while she's mid laugh; I realise that I always had a mum, a mum who truly loved me, a mum who gave up everything for me. 

"Goodnight mama" I whispered looking into my mothers enchanting green eyes. I smiled weakly thinking of her before I fell into a deep sleep.

My hand lifted into the sky gliding through the wind. I reached so high as if I was trying to touch the velvet white clouds scattered in the blue sky. My ears filled with the sound of birds chirping and angelic humming. I turned my head slightly just now realising my head was laid against soft green grass.

"My baby, you're awake" A gentle soft voice exclaimed, her voice appealing to my mind as if she was an angel. 

I sat up and rubbed my eyes, feeling the warm sun beam down on my face.

"Mama" I whispered. She sat in the same white dress from the picture with her legs crossed and daisies in her hand. As soon as I looked at her, her face lit up and her smile grew.                                 She moved over to me and wrapped her warm, comforting arms around me, I felt like I finally could breathe as if in her arms I was safest, in her arms I was home. I wrapped my arms around her back and the scent of roses filled my nose, it smelt so familiar. Tears began streaming down my face as I held tightly onto her, scared that if I let go she would disappear.

"You are safe now my Violet." She gently cooed to me as she ran her fingers through my hair.  She pulled away from the hug, gently holding my face. Her big green eyes twinkled as I allowed myself to melt into her touch. Her touch so comforting as if it was mending the wounds my soul suffered.