Water On Fire [MileApo | mxm]

14

"My ex-girlfriend, Fearz, died in a car crash. Crashed into the barrier of Chalong Rat Expressway."

"How long were you together?"

"Eleven months."

"Wait...was her handle bunny_fearz?"

"Playboy magazine Fearz, yeah." Mile stares up at the ceiling and thinks, on a reel: transparency, openness, and communication. Transparency, openness, and communication...

"Hang on. I think she followed me, before she died." Apo pulls up Instagram. "Holy shit, Mile. She literally couldn't be hotter. I was shocked when I got the notification. Why would she..?"

"I, uh... We sometimes talked about you."

"I didn't know you two were together. She posted pictures with so many guys..."

Mile lowers his gaze.

"Yeah."

"I'm not good enough to be what you expect," Apo finds their most recent picture together and reads the caption aloud. "I have a feeling I know what that means."

"That was about a week before she passed. And yes, she had a...history."

Apo scrolls further.

"This one's from a month earlier. "Happy Birthday Thank you @ milephakphum who came to attend the surprise event today. Thank you very much. May you be handsome, rich, and loved by everyone... Dietary supplements for Prince 'Draco' can be..."

Apo's voice trails off, a frown creasing his brow. "...ordered at... Seriously? Is this some product she was promoting?" He clicks on the product hashtag. "'Firm before Valentine's' - oh. Oh. Oh." He closes the app.

"Yeah... I just felt lucky she noticed me at all. In high school, I was the chubby, unattractive math nerd. Then a playboy bunny showed interest, and I sort of lost my mind." He doesn't know how to explain it to Apo, who's been attractive his entire life. He wouldn't understand. Apo's never needed to have a glow-up. He was born with a glow-up.

"Sorry, I didn't mean... I'm sure-"

"No, it's okay. We were great in bed and that's all that mattered to us kids."

Apo shakes his head.

"Of course the son of Kalasin landed a Playboy model. You could've had anyone. Now I understand where all your experience comes from."

Apo could've had anyone too. Miss Thailand, for example, and by logical deduction, any other woman in Thailand. Mile was never as in control of his urges as Apo. Mile would've fucked Miss Thailand if she offered, as well as all of her friends, and their friends. Mile remembers wanting to fuck Apo, too, and finding the younger man meditating instead. Mile feels that he will never deserve Apo.

"I had a type."

"And I'm the type to make you forget you had a type," Apo grins.

"Until she died," Mile says, "I was an immature clown who thought with his dick."

"Sooo nothing's changed?" Apo wisecracks.

"Shut up." Mile grins.

"I disagree with your assessment. I think you loved her and saw the good in her, in everyone."

"I think you only see the good in me," Mile smiles fondly. "The truth is that I cheated. And she found out, and we fought. And it wasn't the first time. I needed therapy to deal with the guilt."

Apo swallows, trepidation in his eyes. "I was a really stupid boy, Apo. I was dating someone new every couple of months at that point in my life, and drank too much, and..."