Chapter nine.

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     "I hereby banish you, Merlin of Ealdor, from Camelot." The voice of the king rings in his ears, breaking the thread of destiny between them forever.

Harsh words spoken by a betrayed king, spoken in a way that would never be the same again after. A fate worse then death, a sentence that could never by taken back by the one dooming the fate of the other in a way that's worse then death. In a course of doom that no one could have anticipated.

     If only the hurting king had known what fate he had damned his beloved manservant on. The manservant's fate is as simple as he had deemed the banishment to be. He didn't know that his manservant would never reach Ealdor, he didn't know what was to become of his beloved manservant.

     Everything had been a blur to Merlin, he didn't acknowledge the people at his cell when he was still in the dungeons of Camelot. He didn't hear what they were saying to him, it was all of the sudden that it felt like he had gone deaf. Nothing registered in his mind, nothing made sense anymore to him.

     He barely registered the trail going on around him but never in that moment did he dare to lift his head, too afraid to see the hatred in his king's eyes. Too ashamed of everything that had happened since his magic had saved Arthur's life and yet it had been nothing but a week.

     He couldn't bare to look at Gaius, knowing that the man would be so damn disappointed in him. How many times he had warned him to never reveal his magic to anyone. Look at him now, shackles that Uther had made in the great purge- to stop sorcerers from escaping or raging hell down on him.

     He knows that he betrayed every one of his friends, he had done nothing but lie to everyone about himself. There wasn't much they truly know about him and yet they had all believed that they did know him. He didn't need to look them in the eyes to know that he is a traitor and an evil force in their eyes.

     He did nothing to plead himself innocent nor did he admit he was guilty of anything. He just kneeled there on the ground like a lifeless shape of human bones and flesh. He didn't correct Arthur when he went on about everything he had done or didn't do. What was the point?

     If Arthur were to put him through a trail, he had hoped that Arthur were to put him on either the pyre or behead him on the chopping block. He didn't care how his life came to an end, as long as it would happen. There wouldn't be a use for him anyway in the world. There is nothing left for him- if he doesn't get to spend if beside his king.

     Death would have been better then the sentence he had gotten. The rest of his life without Arthur, it doesn't sound like anything of the lenient thing that he could do to Merlin. Although he couldn't blame Arthur for his sentence.

     Even if it felt to Merlin worse then death, he understood the point that Arthur had made. 'I can't bare to watch you die at my hand either.' He had told Merlin after the banishment was announced. But Merlin didn't acknowledge Arthur in the slightest, he already felt dead inside.

     Like a part of him had already dead on the riverbed of the lake of Avalon. Maybe a part of him had really done so, maybe he already accepted his fate in whatever way the moment he had heard Arthur's words. 'You're under arrest for treason to the crown.' He had left a part of himself on the shores of the lake.

     Even when he had his backpack slung over his shoulder, the knights of the round table at the gate with Gwen and Gaius beside them, he didn't acknowledge them at all. He couldn't look them in the eyes as he left through the gates. He felt too much of a burden all of the sudden to give them a proper goodbye- not that he believed that they still cared for him.

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