𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃, max verstappen

05 ; figure it out

#BRINGBACKMATTI was the hashtag that has been seen on all platforms since the interview. Videos of Max and I were cut together into an edit and accompanied by various songs.

For a few minutes I had been watching the edits in which I was linked or following the hashtag, which already had more than twenty million views.

I didn't realize that Max and my relationship with each other was so important to the fans.

THE LAST SONG by Kummer and Fred Rabe played during the next video. "The system is broken, society is failing," It played, and videos of Max and me looking unhappy were shown. "But everything will be alright," The song assured me and a video of Max and I together was shown —

From the day I had seen him for the first time since we broke up.

He looked at me with so much love and so much longing that my breath caught in my throat for a moment.

In the next edit, the song ZUHAUSE was underlaid with "No matter where we end up, my home is not a place, it's you." A video of us in slow-mo was faded in and then more videos followed where you could see how much we loved each other.

My heart tightened painfully and I wished he would look at me like that again. I would do anything for that.

"Sweet," I winced in shock as George leaned his elbows on the same plate I had been leaning on. "Do they have videos like this of us?" There was a grin on his lips and I couldn't help but grin briefly too.

"Maybe," I shrugged my shoulders. "Figure it out." I teased and placed my cell phone with the screen on the plate.

I didn't want to talk about Max. Actually, I didn't want to talk at all, but with George next to me, my day seemed a little more bearable.

I looked at my best friend and didn't realize how I had started to stare until George stared back into my eyes.

"Staring is rude," He remarked, shaking his head and snapping me out of my pink bubble where there was no sorrow and no broken hearts. "Didn't Toto teach you that?" He put his arm around me and pulled me out of the box we had been in until a moment ago.

"Where are we going?"

George didn't look at me but continued to push me in a direction I knew only too well. He wanted to take me to the RedBull box, but he'd got the wrong person.

"To a friend of mine," George explained, grabbing my shoulder for safety so I couldn't turn and run. "He recently went through a really bad break-up and needs someone to talk to." My heart threatened to jump out of my chest as he pushed me further into the box and —

Max kissed Kelly.

My heart shattered into pieces and I suddenly felt so incredibly numb. All I could do was stare at the two of them and George next to me seemed surprised too.

Was that his aim? Did he want me to feel even worse so that I could finish with Max?

When the two of them broke away from each other, they both looked at me. Max looked like I had murdered his cats and Kelly looked at me like she understood what was going on. But the truth was that she had no idea. She didn't know that Max knew my deepest secrets and could destroy me if he wanted to. She didn't understand that this man had saved my life and was the reason Toto still had a daughter.

She didn't understand.

She could never understand.

"Tilly —" Max came towards me, leaving Kelly standing where she was, but I wrenched myself out of George's grip. Tears burned in my eyes and almost violently choked my throat.

My life was slipping from my fingers and there was nothing I could do but watch.

"Don't," I choked out.

He stopped and suddenly he looked like I had kissed George in front of him. He looked at me like I had betrayed him but I would never do that and he knew it —

"I can explain, I —"

"I only wish you the best." I smiled through the pain and wiped away the tears that were unnecessarily threatening to spill from my eyes.

"Maybe she can give you what I couldn't." The words tasted bitter on my tongue and when I saw the hurt look on Max's face I wanted to take them back.

I turned back to George with a jerk and gave him a disappointed look before I stormed past him and made my way to the main Mercedes building. I knew I would find Toto here, but suddenly I wasn't sure I wanted to.

I wanted to be alone and I wanted to drown in the voices that were running riot in my head.

I felt more numb than I had in a long time and suddenly felt like I couldn't breathe. The oxygen had left the planet and toxic gas was all that was left.

Toto's office was the only place for me to find peace and I hoped he wasn't there. I didn't want to talk about what had happened. In fact, I didn't want to talk at all.

My heart was ripped out of my chest and then it was jumped on.

A long time ago I had asked Max to look after it but instead he had destroyed it and left it bleeding on the floor.