𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐈 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃, max verstappen

10 ; can i tell you something?

Yesterday had dragged on. The hours had slipped by without me realizing it because it had taken Max two hours in my arms before he was able to form a rational thought again.

Days like these reminded me of what Max and I had and how much he still needed it.

Our separation was a mistake I wouldn't make twice if I gave him another chance.

Because my heart had already forgiven him, but my brain was screaming for me to stay away from him, wondering what would happen if he crushed my heart again because one thing was clear;

I wouldn't survive it a second time.

I absent-mindedly stroked my pants, removing dirt that was no longer there and was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice the Mercedes crew trying to talk to me, asking me where my father was.

I didn't understand why everyone always expected me to have an answer to everything, because it was really getting incredibly exhausting.

"Tilly," I winced as a hand was placed on my shoulder, I hadn't realized the crew had disappeared again. "Can I have a word with you?" I'd recognize his Australian accent anywhere and the rose on his hand almost screamed his name.

"Daniel." I turned to him, looking at him questioningly because he wasn't supposed to be here. The cars were here and Daniel could use the new updates to his advantage.

But I knew he would never do that.

"Of course," I gestured for him to follow me with a smile — because we really couldn't stay in the Mercedes garage. "What's up?"

If Max was mentioned again, I would burst.

"How are you?" The McLaren driver looked at me with raised eyebrows. I admired the man for a moment, wondering why he looked so good in papaya, but I snapped out of my thoughts when I almost knocked over one of the employees.

"Uh, good?" I looked at him uncertainly, because the question caught me completely off guard. Normally I always had a plausible explanation for everything —

For my mood, my behavior, but somehow I just felt totally helpless and was glad that Daniel put an arm around me to get me safely to the little café.

"I'll get straight to the point, Matilda." Daniel didn't look at me, but at the menu in front of the café, clearly thinking about what to order.

"I'm good friends with Max and I think you two should stop behaving like little kids because you're destroying yourselves with that behavior."

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes. Suddenly my world revolved around Max again and I didn't like it one bit.

Much more than I wanted to admit.

"Daniel..." I sighed heavily, brushing my hair out of my face. "It's so much more complicated than you think," I continued, trying to find some kind of reassurance in his gaze, but instead I just got quizzical looks from the Australian, who didn't seem to understand my problem.

"I heard you," He admitted, wiping his face. "Christian told me how desperately you were clinging to each other." Daniel shrugged his shoulders, seemingly unaware of the biggest problem.

"It doesn't seem as complicated to me as you make it out to be."

He didn't understand, would never be able to understand.

"Can I tell you something?" I knew Daniel would keep it to himself, I trusted him with my life.

"Between the two of us." I continued uncertainly, ordering my coffee while we talked.

The sales clerk gave us our drinks and together Daniel and I sat down in a quiet corner.

"Of course you can."

I nibbled at the protruding skin of my fingers, nervously rocking my leg as I almost shrank under the McLaren driver's gaze.

"Just before Max and I broke up, we were at a party," I paused for a moment, needing time to gather my thoughts. Daniel looked at me carefully, making me search for my words, which I was having far too much trouble finding the right ones for at the moment, and placed a hand on mine. "We... uh... were pretty drunk, I think."

My mind was working at full speed and everything in me was resisting telling him.

"There was this man... I think his name was Rick..." I swallowed hard, felt tears welling up in my eyes and looked away so that the Australian wouldn't notice.

"He wasn't a friend of the people who threw the party but somehow he still got in and..."

Suddenly I wasn't sure if Daniel could understand anything because my mouth was moving faster than my brain could work.

"I was too drunk to fight back. He just... He did —" I took a deep breath, had to remind myself to breathe, because my body didn't want to.

"What did he do, Tilly?" He tilted his head towards me, looking at me with such a gentle gaze that a tear streamed down my cheek. I frantically wiped it away again, not wanting Daniel to see me crying.

"He raped me." My voice was no more than a breath of its own as the words dissolved into the air as soon as they left my throat.

Something in Daniel's expression changed and suddenly he looked so angry, so upset. He no longer understood anything, because it was all so incredibly complicated that even I had trouble understanding it.

"And, um... Max found out somehow. He thought I was cheating on him." The words tasted so bitter on my tongue that I wanted to spit them out again.

"There was a knee-jerk reaction. He said he never wanted to see me again. That I was cheating on him and he couldn't even look at me without..."

I breathed out shakily, I felt like I was falling so, so far and only Daniel's hand stopped me from falling into this ravine for good.

"He didn't let me explain what happened." I pressed my lips together bitterly, nodded and looked at the McLaren driver with teary eyes. "And I think, after everything, he owes it to me to explain myself."

I took a sip of the bitter coffee to prevent myself from blurting out any more secrets that had led to our break-up.

"At some point, I just... gave up. I didn't have the strength." I wrinkled my nose, upset, only now realizing that Daniel was the first person I had told about the incident.

"Oh, Tilly." Daniel wrapped his arms around me protectively, giving me the comfort I so desperately needed.

"Suddenly he didn't care about anything. As if the last few years had meant nothing."

I cleared my throat, not wanting to burst into tears in front of the cameras that were outside.

"He made me a promise, but he broke it and I don't know if I can trust him again." Understanding, the Australian nodded, stroking my shoulder up and down reassuringly as I twisted the ring on my finger that Max had once given me.

"You don't have to say any more, Matilda. I understand now."