You and me - Chris Sturniolo

Alone. Or not

I wake up and immediately go on my phone to spend my day.

I scrool through tiktok, Twitter, messages, snapchat stories. Instagram etc

I spend my entire day rolling over, taking naps, and in my phone in bed

I got up occasionally to eat or pee

The past three days were like this. Saying I had a few free months from modeling I could do whatever I fucking wanted

I got some frequent notification from the triplets and Madi and alahna. Chris mustve told them

I heard a knock on my front door but I didn't do anything

It kept knocking

"JUST FUCKING COME IN" I scream and I hear it creak open

It shuts and footsteps come up the stairs

I continue on my phone and ignore whoever was here

"Hey" Chris's voice said, it sounded deformed and dead

I peek over at him and go back at my phone

He walks in and just stands behind me by by bed

"Why are you here" I ask blankly

"I wanna talk" he sniffles

"How did that end last time" I ask without looking away from my phone

"Please" he says

I roll over to face him and his eyes are red and puffy and he looks a wreck

"Fine" I say sitting up

"Talk" I say

"I'm um..I'm sorry for yelling at you" he says and sits on the corner of my bed

"Mhm" I say looking in my lap

"I love you" his hand meets mine

I feel myself starting to choke up and try swallowing the lump in my throat

I squint my eyes and a tear falls to my lap

"I talked to Matt" he says

"About that" I say not knowing what to say next

"I'm not mad" he cuts me off

"How" I ask

"I technically cheated" I breath trying not to sob

"I understand where it came from" he says

I stay silent because if I speak again I'll start crying

"Can we just be okay again..? I miss you alot" his voice cracks

I nod slowly not knowing what to do

His arms go around me and I hold onto him

Hot tears pour down my cheeks and soak into his shoulder

"Don't cry" he says and pulls away

I look up at his red eyes and then I fall back and lay down

He copies and lays apart from me so we're facing eachother

We sit for a while in silence and I don't look in his eyes but I feel his stare at mine

I look at his hands playing with mine

"I'm sorry for ignoring you guys" I say

"It's okay" he says

We lay for a few more hours and talk very little

Chris ended up falling asleep and I felt a little motivation to get out of bed

I slowly get out of bed and start collecting dirty clothes and bring them to the washer and start it

I grab all the dishes and carry them in a pile down to the sink

Then I come in with a garbage bag and pick up al of my trash that I scattered throughout my room in the past week

I walked into my bathroom and closed the door and started the shower

I took off my somewhat dirty clothes and look at myself in the mirror

I look at my tear-stained cheeks and realized how much I had been crying for a week

I got into the shower and washed my greasy hair

I wash my body and shaved

When I was finally clean I turned off the water and dried off

I looked at myself and felt refreshed

I wrap myself in the towel and go Into my closet to get some clothes

I put on a black fresh love hoodie and some shorts and underwear then put my wet hair in a bun

I grab my dirty clothes I was wearing,  white ransom T and a pair of sweats, and put those in my laundry basket to get washed

I walked downstairs and cleaned the sink full of dirty dishes then set them in the rack to dry

I go back up to my bathroom and brush my teeth that I haven't gotten to in three days

I brush my tongue then rinse out my mouth

I clean my ears and get back into bed

He groans and his arms make their way over me and he pulls me into his chest

I tense up and stay still for a few seconds and then felt more comfortable

I missed this, I missed being with my other half, I missed Chris.

I breathed in his smell that I lacked for too long

I breath in his scent over and over

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

I hold onto Chris's arm and fall asleep much faster than I have been

I was stripped of his love

Even though we weren't broken up I still felt so alone