Remus Lupin Comfort 🤎

talk pt 2

tw ‼️ mentions of abuse, eating disorders, suicide, and self harm

oh

so this is what it's like to be loved.

"first off, y/n, i swear on my life that i will never let your stepfather near you again. there are plenty of solutions that we can talk about. you could stay at hogwarts over break, we could involve muggle law enforcement, or," he paused, internally debating for a moment. "you could stay with me, if you'd like."

y/n froze, and for a second the professor feared that he had overstepped.

"you'd let me stay with you?" her voice cracked. this was more than she could've hoped for.

"of course, i have plenty of room and i'd appreciate the company." y/n smiled then, for the first time in what felt like weeks.

"ok." lupin smiled too.

"and secondly, i want to say that i'm sorry for all the hurt and trauma you've had to endure. you've kept yourself kind despite all of it, and i'm proud of you. you've handled all of this by yourself for so long, but i'm here for you now, ok? the world is better because you're in it." he hugged her, and y/n buried her face in his chest.

"y/n, can you promise that you'll come to me if you ever feel like you're going to hurt yourself again? and i mean anytime, anywhere."

she agreed easily. it wasn't as if he'd know if she broke the promise anyhow.

"and i need you to give me all of your blades."

damnit

y/n paused, but knowing that this was one thing professor lupin wouldn't budge on, she stood up silently and grabbed her bag from across the room. she pulled out several razor blades and a small pocketknife and handed them over. it made y/n feel slightly panicky to be without the thing that had brought her solace, if briefly, time and time again.

"professor, i-i don't know if i can do this," she whispered. he understood.

"this has been your lifeline for so long, you've forgotten about all the other, healthier coping mechanisms you have at your disposal. it's going to be hard, learning to rely on them again, but i am confident that you are able to." he went and pulled a leather-bound journal from the bookshelf, and handed it to y/n. "this is for you. i want you to write in it when your upset, stressed, angry, or any other time you want."

y/n slipped her finger along the spine thoughtfully. "thank you."

lupin smiled sadly as an answer.

"can you tell me more about the eating issues you mentioned?" he asked.

y/n shifted uneasily on the bed. she almost regretted bringing it up at all. what if he forced her to eat and she gained a ton of weight? a voice in her head whispered "he's going to make you fat. don't tell him, he won't understand."

she unconsciously started scratching at the cuts on her arm again, splitting a few of them open. lupin grabbed her hand to stop her.

"hey, you don't need to hurt yourself. what about food is stressful to you?"

unforgivably, y/n thought she might cry. she forced the words out of her mouth, grotesque and brutal as they felt in her throat. "so-some days it's fine, and i can just eat like normal. but recently, there's been a voice in my head, telling me that i- i don't deserve to eat. i'm just going to get fat. and, and i've never had any control over my life, but i can control my food. i starve myself. and i love it. i love starving."

suddenly, a wave of exhaustion overtook her. she hadn't slept, truly, restfully slept in ages. lupin helped her get back under the covers, and handed her the teddy bear.

"sleep well, y/n."

"g-night," y/n mumbled, right before closing her eyes and entering a dreamless sleep.