Remus Lupin Comfort 🤎

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tw ‼️ suicidal thoughts, self harm, eating disorder

y/n wanted to be better, she really did. since that night, she'd been trying to stay clean. but the weight of her depression, which was lifted off her shoulders for a brief moment, wasted no time sinking it's claws back into her. she was buckling her knees to keep herself from falling. it was exhausting.

lupin held her back after class a lot, asking her how she was. hermione treated her like glass. she avoided talking about her problems with anyone.

y/n felt so fragile, but she couldn't let anyone see it.

she only ate one meal a day. the obsessive thoughts were never-ceasing. the weight fell off her like the leaves on the trees. thankfully, it was getting colder and y/n could bundle up in baggy clothing to stop other people from noticing.

on the day of the first snowfall, y/n had quidditch practice with the rest of the ravenclaw team. she was freezing and her lips faded into a icy blue color. roger davis, the team captain, yelled at her to get her game together. she hadn't caught the snitch once in the entire hour they'd been practicing. gradually, y/n could feel the team's collective apprehension towards her increasing. she was shaking inside of her quidditch robes, and a faint ringing in her ears appeared.

come on y/n, don't be weak. you're not going to faint, you're just being dramatic.

she was still 100+ feet in the air, so she started coasting back towards the ground.

she wasn't real. the world looked fake around her and a numbness took over her body. spots materialized in her vision. she was nose diving towards the ground, but y/n couldn't find the energy to care. maybe if she crashed hard enough she would finally die.

"y/n!!" roger yelled, but she couldn't respond before the world faded to black.

when she woke up the whole team was crowded around her. "are you ok?" roger asked.

y/n tried to talk but her mouth was like sandpaper, so she opted for nodding.

"you should go to the infirmary, y/n, i'll walk you up there."

knowing that not going wasn't an option, y/n cleared her throat and said "it's fine, i can take myself."

no one protested. there was something in her eyes that said they shouldn't argue with her. she let them pull her to her feet, then quickly stalked off the quidditch pitch and back into the castle. her limbs felt so weak, but she pushed passed it. rather than heading to the infirmary however, she slid into the girls bathroom.

she tried, merlin she had tried so hard to stay clean. but she couldn't anymore, there was too much wrong with her. screwup, failure, fat loser. the blade pinched between her fingers had never called to her so much. a burning in her chest. blood. so. much. blood. the riptide of pain pulled her under.

y/n slid to the ground, unconscious again.

sorry for the short chapter guys! writers block was hitting hard. please star and comment if you liked it 🫶🏻