Remus Lupin Comfort 🤎

night convos

tw ‼️ panic attack and ed mention, self harm

y/n cried, scratched at her arms until they bled, had panic attacks, screamed into her pillow, and stared into space all night. but lupin was with her for all of it.

all of the emotions she had held back ripped through her, tearing open something that was better off locked away. it was right at the edge between bearable and unbearable, but remus kept her tethered to reality.

she didn't want to be in reality. she wanted to be dead.

"tell me a story," she asked at one point. "something nice."

lupin exhaled. this was something he could do. "ok." He racked his brain for something, anything, that would show her the joy of being alive. what made him want to live?

the answer came to him all at once, and then very quickly his heart sunk. his friends. two of whom where dead, one was a convicted criminal, a murderer. he pushed past the grief. y/n needed him.

"the first year i came to hogwarts, i was scared out of my mind. i didn't know anyone, i was a fairly quiet and reserved boy, and i was desperate to make friends..."

he went on to recount the story of meeting sirius, james, and peter. all of them being sorted into gryffindor together. thinking back to some of the pranks they pulled off brought a small smile to both lupin's and y/n's face.

"i wish i had that. a childhood where i could just be happy. no problems." y/n sighed dejectedly and stared at the ceiling. remus had to fight the urge to laugh.

"no problems? i wish."

she turned to face him. "what do you mean?"

lupin froze, realizing he'd said too much. "i- nevermind, it's nothing."

"no, it's not nothing. what happened?"

he rubbed the back of his neck, considering how to respond. it wasn't as if he could tell her that he was a werewolf.

"there were... are... parts of myself that i hate, and it almost destroyed me when i was younger," he explained carefully.

y/n got the memo to not push it. but it was interesting to think about... maybe she wasn't the only person at hogwarts to feel like this. maybe she wasn't completely alone.

"professor?" she asked after a minute of thoughtful silence.

"yeah?"

y/n rallied the confidence needed to say what she was thinking. "i think i need to talk about it. my stepfather, my eating issues, everything." the fear was tangible in her voice.

"are you sure? if you're not ready, we can wait."

"i doubt i'm ever going to be ready, but i need to. i can't keep it to myself anymore."

lupin gave her a sad smile. "i'll always listen to what you have to say, y/n."

tears pricked her eyes. "where do i start?"

"let's start from the beginning."

hey y'all...
this took so long to write for absolutely no reason. very sorry for the delay. school sucks and i have a fuck-ton of homework every night. i hope you all enjoy the update! all the comments and stars really do mean so much to me and it encourages me to keep writing <333
love you all 🫶🏻