7. The Thaw Before the Storm

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Content note: Thoughts of self-harm

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Content note: Thoughts of self-harm.

Juniper hadn't expected that training with Summer would involve getting to know her mother, too. But here she was trying to make notes on her session with Jie leaning over her shoulder.

"These fours and fives in your physical output column," Jie said, pointing at the tablet screen. "What does that mean?"

Grabbing the small towel off the bench beside her, Juniper covered the back of her neck before her sweat could stain Jie's tan golf shirt. This woman was as nosy as the Alpine Canada coaches and with less reason.

She'd met Summer's mother before in passing. It was hard to avoid anyone on the World Cup circuit. But the second day that her meditation session with Summer had transitioned wordlessly into a morning together in the gym, Jie had shown up with her own tablet and a lot of questions about Juniper's methods.

"It means I was working at my limit," Juniper said about all those fours and fives on her spreadsheet. "Or close to it. Six is the stretch. Higher than a six, and I've gone beyond productivity. That's when I'm overworking."

"Hm. And you track this to determine what's a meaningful use of your training time?"

"Basically."

"No sixes. You're not pushing yourself much." Jie leaned further, unbothered by the salty drops still falling from the ends of Juniper's curls. "And all these ones and twos in the mental state column?"

Juniper flicked the screen, and it went black. "Those are less productive."

"I see." Jie nodded, her ponytail bobbing. It was clear where Summer had gotten her silky black hair and that adorable button nose. And also where she'd gotten her lack of filter. "Have you considered working with a mental coach?"

"The team put me in touch with a sports psychologist," Juniper said shortly, looking around for a save. There was only Summer, her cheeks dimpled, not quite a smile.

"Mom," she said, slinging a kettlebell into the rack with a ringing thud. "Can we talk about adding some of those knee stability exercises the physio recommended for this afternoon?"

It was the perfect distraction, of course. Jie whipped out her own tablet, ready to explain how she'd already worked out the new plan. Wiping a wrist against her damp brow, Summer leaned in to listen.

Before they could huddle up and shut her out, Juniper said, "Hey."

Summer turned those golden-brown eyes on her. Under the unforgiving lights of the gym, she was flush and bright, a few wisps of hair escaping her high bun to caress her neck. Juniper could see no gaps in her armour and no trace of the pain she'd revealed in the dark of the car. But she couldn't forget that look she'd seen on Summer's face. Like every shred of her unshakable confidence had been stolen from her. It had unsettled her in ways she couldn't explain.

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