30. At the Start Gate

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Summer was almost certain that shriek was Mackenzie

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Summer was almost certain that shriek was Mackenzie. She broke the kiss, her cheeks hot.

"Summer-" Juniper's eyes had flown wide, as bright as the sky. "What the fuck?"

She hadn't thought this through. She'd just been desperate to stop Juniper before she left with that hurt on her face.

Most of the milling crowds were strangers paying them no attention, but there were other teams here preparing for the upcoming races, race staff coming and going. Other people who might recognize them. All their teammates, coaches, and support staff staring at them was already enough to make her nerves crackle.

It wasn't enough to make her let go of Juniper, though. This woman who loved her despite everything. Who was about to walk away and break her own heart because she thought that's what Summer was asking for.

Juniper didn't let go of her, either. One of her hands clutched at Summer's coat, the other curled gently over her wrist.

"I'm sorry," Summer said. "Do you not want people to know?"

"What? No, obviously I don't care if people know, but, like- Know what? You said you don't want to do this anymore."

"Yes. I hear how that sounds."

"You hear how that sounds," Juniper repeated, golden brows knotted in confusion.

"I meant our arrangement. Friends with benefits. You asked if I'm still happy with that. I'm not. If there's going to be an us, I want it for real."

"If there's going to be-?"

Summer smoothed stray baby hairs away from Juniper's forehead, tucking the soft ringlets back under the fleece band over her ears. She loved Juniper like this, still flushed under her freckles from the cold air and a workout, curls too unruly to stay caught in her ponytail.

There was, still, a tiny part of her brain yelling at her that this was reckless, that it was a mistake, that she would regret it. That a relationship was a distraction she couldn't afford when she still hadn't proven that she could perform at the level she used to, when next year was the Olympics, when-

But there would always be another career obstacle. And, yes, indulging in a sip of hot chocolate at a New Year's party was not even on the same scale as dating her teammate and rival - which really was an utterly foolish thing to do if she thought about it too much - but maybe Juniper was right. She could let herself have some of the things she loved without it ruining everything she'd worked so hard for.

The fear that had bolted through her when she'd thought Juniper was breaking up with her had seared her last doubts out of existence.

And once Summer made up her mind about something she didn't change it easily.

"That's what I want," she said firmly. "I want to train with you and talk about our career goals and go to the Olympics together, but I also want to learn all your secrets and kiss you whenever I feel like and have family dinners on the road with you and my mom. I want to find out whether orgasms the night before a race are a bad idea. When I think about my future, you're part of it."

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