Ad Astra

Chapter 40

I wake in the morning when I can feel fingers threading through my hair and soft lips tracing my face. I think it must be a dream. I was supposed to kill Asteria last night, but instead, I can feel her all around me. One of her arms cradles me to her side. Her soft hair tickles my nose. Her knees brush against my own.

When I finally will myself to open my eyes, I find Asteria lying beside me, her hair illuminated in the morning sunlight.

"Good morning," she whispers. She leans forward to kiss me, and I meet her lips eagerly, so thankful that I did not go through with my plans last night. I am not sure I could have ever willed myself to wake again if Asteria's blood stained my hands.

"Did you sleep well the rest of the night?" Asteria asks.

"Yes," I say. It is then I become keenly aware that I have hidden the knife under Asteria's rug. My eyes dare to glance on the other side of me, but I keep them locked on Asteria. While I decided to spare Asteria's life, Zofia is still dead, and they will continue to search for the one responsible in the meantime.

Asteria slowly uncurls her arms from me, and I sprawl out on my back. I stretch my arms upward and let out a large yawn. My gaze becomes fixated on the slanted ceiling of Asteria's bedchamber, and I allow my thoughts to wander once more.

I cannot kill Asteria. I will not kill Asteria. That decision is final. She means too much to me, and though I realistically know our time together will be limited, I cannot deny myself this happiness for the time being. That means, of course, I will not be in Magewell to follow through with my mother's plans.

I fold my arms over my chest, allowing that reality to sink in. It should not bother me, and yet, I feel my throat grow chalky with sadness regardless. All my life, I have wanted to make my mother proud, to follow through with this plan of hers, and to bring honor to my nation. I will no longer play a part in that. In fact, I am sure if my mother or Kiana were to see me now, they would disown me as a traitor.

But I will not stop their plans. It is too late now, and even I admit that I do not want Magnuvia to maintain its corrupt rule forever. I turn my head to glance at Asteria. I want to protect her. Though I may have not been able to kill her, my mother will still send someone after her even if King Ruben and Prince Stephan are killed.

I decide that right now, my only priority is to protect Asteria. To keep her alive. Whatever else happens with Zofia's death, my mother's assassination plot, will be something that matters later.

"What are you thinking about?" Asteria asks, clearly noticing my contemplative stare.

"Asteria, if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?" I ask.

Asteria seems puzzled. "That's...quite difficult to think about. I was not expecting such a question. Though...I suppose it would be nice to see your home country of Landiani. You have told me so much about it. It seems like a beautiful place from the stories you have told me."

I hum in agreement.

"What is this about?" Asteria asks.

I bite my bottom lip. "You and I both know that Esterpool will not be safe forever—"

"I have told you already that if I am brought to Gracesard Isle, so be it. But I will not give you up—"

"This isn't just about your father," I argue. "What about Zofia? Are you not worried by her murder? Who's to say whoever targeted her was not trying to target you? I worry that you are not safe here. Nor myself."

Asteria scoots closer to me and kisses me. Though I grasp onto the hem of her nightgown and kiss her with no less affection than normal, even I know that she is merely trying to distract my panicked thoughts. As our lips part, she strokes her hand against my cheek.