Pregnant Without a Cause

Chapter One, Episode 2

This is the second episode in the story of teenage Callie, her mother Michelle, and Baby Boomer (who has not yet made an appearance). Please enjoy, vote, comment.

Chapter One: Baby Boomer

Episode 2. 

(1200 words, read time 5 mins.)

With this hopeless mood firmly in control of her daughter, Michelle decided to skip the lunch and shopping she had originally planned. By the time they arrived home, her appetite and energy were gone anyway. She made tuna melts and set them on the table, but then she told Callie, "I'm going to go lie down. You eat."

Callie gave her that all-purpose guarded look that indicated disbelief, relief, concern, suspicion, and many otherfeelings. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just tired out." Michelle assumed what she hoped was a benign expression. Nothing was okay, and might not be again. She walked through the house to her bedroom, pulled the chain on the ceiling fan and eased herself onto the bed.

Problem solving. It had been her watchword for months, trying to push Callie to deal with life as it was, in a rational way, rather than the pouting and throwing snits that seemed to be her first choice of response. A double pang of regret stabbed Michelle. Because of the taping on Monday, she would not be home when Callie left for her first day of sophomore year. No, it wasn't the first day of kindergarten, but it was still important. So she had wanted them both to get a handle on things today. Get Callie her schedule, buy supplies, maybe some clothes. Whatever it took to put a smile on the girl's face.

But Michelle knew her daughter's life was not going to change due to a little shopping and some cheerful chatter. Because-the second pang-she herself was Callie's biggest problem. Not in a superficial, do-your-homework-young-lady way, but in a profound and true way. It went way beyond the divorce, and the adjustments they'd had to make, all of them painful. Michelle could blame Craig for all those things, and she could almost believe that it had really been her ex-husband's fault. But at night, in the dark, Michelle knew the harm she had caused, the bad things she had done. Each and every one.

The noontime sun made hot white slits around the edges of the blinds. If Michelle got up and pulled the curtains closed, the light leak would dim to a soft, indirect glow. But she was too tired to get up, and it was just a white strip. She hoisted herself over on her side and faced the wall. The air from the fan cooled her bare, damp arm.

How could she believably tell Callie to deal with life, when for months she had kept a secret simply because she knew how people would react to it. Like the secret's father, Edouard. If she was going to tell him, she had better get cracking. Twenty-eight days left, and whatever doubts she still had, the papa needed to know.

She'd met Edouard a year ago, the month her divorce was final. He seemed nonjudgmental, kind-hearted, and for some reason infatuated with her. Their love warmed up quickly, particularly on a memorable night in Park City that still made her shiver with pleasure and dread. They had gone there for a Friends of Animals festival or fundraiser. Michelle wasn't really sure-it was Edouard who was the friend of animals.

That had been the night. Michelle didn't need a doctor with a calendar to tell her. There was no other possible night. The next night, feeling suddenly feverish and altogether dicey, she threw up on an ice sculpture of an Airedale terrier, and Edouard spent quite a few minutes trying to clean up the mess, which unfortunately bonded almost immediately to the bumpy coat of the ice dog, and the rest of the evening taking care of her. Later they laughed and laughed.

The good times continued for a while. In February, on a lark, they auditioned for Fat Chance, the couples challenge show. They decided that their challenge would be to lose 100 pounds between them in six months, and they both were excited about that. The show people were interested enough to bring them in for a second interview and taping session.

Meanwhile Michelle's condition overrode her denial in April. The truth terrified her. What would Edouard say? He would want the baby, and her, wouldn't he? She delayed telling him. But as the weeks went by, her fears seemed silly. Edouard was the only really happy thing in her life, and the people at the show told them they had a good chance to make the cast. Since she was pregnant and eating everything in sight, going on a diet was definitely out, but Fat Chance was not a weight-loss show, so she convinced Edouard to come up with some other interesting challenge before the real filming started. He had some ideas about a business catering weddings and other events at a wildlife preserve that made the producer's eyes twinkle. Michelle decided the time had come to break the happy news to Edouard.

The words were almost on her lips when the show was cancelled. That didn't really bother Michelle, though she could have used the money. But Edouard took it hard. In the next few weeks he seemed to withdraw from her into a secret spiral of depression and hostility. Michelle was shocked. Had she been nothing to him but a TV sidekick? She held on to her secret a little longer.

She had felt the wobbles in their relationship. At forty years old, she expected some of that. But Edouard just seemed to have lost his mind. Suddenly Michelle could never get a hold of him, and he would do things like send her flowers, and then when she called to thank him he acted so morose or impatient that it completely cancelled the positive effect of the thoughtful gift. As Michelle saw him less and less, any thought of raising a child together faded away. She would have the baby on her own, and deal with it on her own. No one would ever be able to accuse her of using a baby as a club on a poor, pudgy bachelor.

Then, day before yesterday, Fat Chance called. They were back on! Michelle and Edouard had been chosen as cast members, and filming started Monday, right here in Phoenix, and could they be there? My, how gloriously Edouard's sun broke through to shine on her again! The cell phone she'd thought was broken now began to generate reams of affectionate data. After the first call she had felt excited and hopeful. Maybe it would work, after all. She decided to tell him this weekend, and tell the show people on Monday. And their new challenge could be having a baby. That seemed a lot more dramatic than anything else they'd thought of. And working through the problems she'd had with Edouard this summer-the inability to communicate, the withdrawal- all that. Maybe, just maybe, they would become a real couple. And even more maybe-ish, they would get married.

But then Edouard called back again, and again, full of plans. With each call Michelle grew more depressed and angry. He had some new ideas he wanted to pitch to the TV people and vague, happy dreams for him and her. It was like the miserable summer never happened. And she really resented that, because he had been awful to her.

Thanks for reading Episode 2. Michelle is telling some of the story of her pregnancy--but definitely not all of it. Come back Saturday Oct. 28 for the next episode.