Pregnant Without a Cause

Part III: The Shower. Chapter Nine, Episode 26

Callie caught up with Fiona walking from the bus stop. By her friend's expression, Callie could tell it was bad news.

"It can't be our place," said Fiona. "It's too small anyway. I would be embarrassed to have people over."

"That's okay." Callie tried to conceal her disappointment. The two girls trudged on toward school, past the usual whiff of ganja by the green bark tree, and the usual Jonathan with his hair molded into Statue of Liberty points, coming from wherever a kid like that keeps his gel.

"What're we going to do? We've got to have the shower," said Fiona. "Everybody wants the shower."

"Everyone who can't give it." As part of her "Total Mother" campaign, Callie had determined that she needed to have a baby shower. Not for the presents, but as a sort of christening, an official welcome to the world for Booms. Her family didn't go to an actual church, so there would be no real christening, and her mom had also prohibido'd a shower at their house, despite Callie's pleas. She seemed to want to keep Boomer some kind of secret. Nevertheless, Callie was proceeding with her plan.

There remained one hope, and here it came, in designer label gym shorts and a jersey tank. Callie spread her arms pleadingly. "Ronette! Please tell me you can save us!"

Ronette sighed. "No. My mom..."

"No!" Callie groaned. "What did she say?"

"'Who the fuck is Callie Sharp?' Sharp!" Ronette grimaced. "Sorry. That's how she acts."

***

The bell rang to end the last class of the day, and the room burst into exuberant chatter. Desks banged and clattered as students ejected from them. Zam slung his backpack up on his shoulder, heading for the door. He could feel Fiona's charcoal eyes staring at him, and he wanted to avoid her. What was there to say? Callie had cut him off from her ever-expanding flock of baby friends, of whom Fiona was the Bo Peep. He knew Fiona didn't like him, and he didn't want to be part of that group, for sure. All he wanted was for people to think he was the baby's father.

Zam hurried down the covered walk. None of this was his fault. He had set Callie up for stardom, but then just when she should have been most grateful, she'd flipped out on him. Then it was just one thing after another. When he tried to help her, she snarled at him. He had started hanging out to watch them film Fat Chance, gotten to know a few of the crew, and even appeared on camera almost by accident when Edouard unexpectedly came crashing through the kitchen the other day. That caused Callie to accuse him of vampiring on her mother's success. He couldn't win.

In his ear like an evil cricket, Fiona chirped, "She doesn't think of you like that."

They emerged onto the open sidewalk between buildings. "Well, you don't get screwed by a thought. It takes a man. A mighty meaty sledge-a-man."

Fiona emitted a derisive cackle. "I know who it was."

He shook his head. "You have no clue."

"David Ross. She won't admit it of course."

"Suchola Crapstein. You have no idea." This was exactly Zam's point. It would be better for Callie if everyone just assumed Zam was the father. Then all the wild speculation would die away. David Ross was one of these big phony types that Callie hated. "He's going with Julie."

"Who?"

"Julie Jasperson. The cheerleader."

"She's not a cheerleader." Fiona shook her head impatiently. "That's Judy Jacobsen. Whatever—look, I know what I saw. She's trying to protect someone."

This attitude of Fiona's was really too much. "No," he said, "you don't know, and that's the point. But I do know. And I'm trying to help."

They had come to the patio outside the cafeteria. Fiona held up a stop sign. "You think your lies are fresher than anyone else's? If you want to help, find a place for the shower."

"What are you talking about?"

"The baby shower!" Fiona gasped, "Her mom won't allow it. None of the moms will. It's like a conspiracy."

"No. She's not letting Callie do anything like that."

"But we have to. It's a friendly gesture of welcoming." Fiona made a hula-type move involving her arms and hips.

"Is that the friendly welcoming dance?" 

"Of course."

"Well," said Zam. "Too bad about the moms." 

"So we're doing it on the sly. On the down low."

"Oh, good luck." But Zam saw a glimmer of something. An opening. "How would you do it?"

"Saturday." Fiona's voice went up a tone. "It has to be Saturday. We just have to get Callie's mom out of the way, and find a place. How come you don't know any of this?"

"We have a different kind of relationship now, Callie and I. We talk about everything that has to do with the baby."

"Again with that? You. Are not. The. Father."

Zam refused to be pushed off his point. "I understand it's tough on her. She's depressed, you know. And it's true she has to bear more of the consequences of our mistake. But is that my fault, or society's fault?"

"Jeezuz Jasper Jonas Brother!" Fiona elbowed him into a metal picnic table. "You may fool the rest of the town, Mighty Sledge-a-ham, but I know her, and I know who!" 

Zam shook his head sadly."You don't know."

"At least I know who not."

He tried to show her how mature this experience had made him. "Look, I know things between Callie and me can never go back. That's as dead as Power Rangers. But she shouldn't push me away like that. Or she'll be sorry. That's all I can say."

All Zam wanted was his moment. Once he was free of Friendzilla, walking to his car, he put in a call to Leigh, the makeup lady, who was the only way to get to Jock, because Jock never answered his phone. Zam told her he had something that Jock would want to know about Callie and Michelle.