'11' triangle slices

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y/n pov

The elevator doors opened and I felt everyone's eyes back on me. I was sucking on the lollipop Banner had given me and I tried my best to focus on the flavors in my mouth and not the bile creeping up my throat. 

Tony spared Nat a small glance, they had planned it. Tony promised they wouldn't ask because he knew Nat would've gone against it. It's not like it would've made a difference. I was not spilling my guts to the world's renowned heroes.

"Nice sling," Bucky smirked at me and I resisted every urge to smack him with my free arm. I bit the inside of my lip, almost making it bleed. 

"Thanks," I replied through gritted teeth. I still had the lollipop in my mouth when Tony called my name. 

"Here kid." He handed me a plate with a sandwich cut into triangles. 

y/n flashback

"Lunch y/n!" my mom called out to me. I had been playing outside the entire morning, rolling around in the fresh grass. 

"Coming!" I yelled. I put down the daisy flower chain I had made and ran into the house. 

"Look at you, you're so filthy. You were playing with in mud weren't you?" she asked me. Her voice enthralled me, it filled in every gap in my heart, that dreadful sensation I had had ever since her death. It might've been a memory but her voice and her sincerity never failed to warm my heart. 

Little me just smiled mischievously. Mom slid a plate along the table. A PB&J sandwich cut up into triangular slices. 

Just the way I liked them. 

I took a half while Mom watched me take a bite.

Her eyes were so enchanting I could get lost in them forever. 

She ruffled my hair and I shooed her hand away. 

"You know I love you right?" She asked suddenly. At the time I wasn't sure what her question meant but I nodded.

"You know I'll love you until the ends of the earth?" she repeated. I nodded once again. 

"No matter what happens, I will always love you. As long as you remember me in here," she patted my chest or my heart better said. "I'll never truly be gone," she said. I thought nothing of her words and continued eating my sandwich. 

Mom was murdered the next day.

end of flashback

"Y/n?!" I snapped out of whatever trance I was in and stared back at Tony. Tears welled my eyes but I forced them back down. 

"Where'd you go kid?" He asked worriedly. 

I avoided his eyes and shrugged, a stabbing pain went through my shoulder. 

Everyone seemed so interested in me and I hated it. I hated it with all my heart. For some reason, I had this newfound hatred for all the Avengers. Except Banner. He gave me a lollipop. But everyone else just began pissing me off at every single little thing they did and I wasn't quite sure why. 

I was mad at Bucky for his little joke about my sling. As if he could say something. The bitch didn't even have an arm. I was mad at Nat for pressuring me. I was mad at Tony for making such a good AI. And I was mad at his AI for not being able to keep its artificial mouth shut. 

And I was mad at everyone who couldn't stop staring at me as if I was a new painting in an art exhibit. I felt naked. I wanted to go home. Except I didn't have a home to go back to.

"Kid please eat. I don't know how I'm going to keep you as an intern if you can't follow simple directions." he threatened. I wanted to stand my ground. To throw away the sandwich he had given me. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. As much as I hated to admit I wanted this job. I wanted it so bad. But yet I couldn't bring myself to look at the memories of my mom hidden beneath a cut-up sandwich. 

Not only was it the memories of my mom keeping me from eating that sandwich, but it was also my sudden nausea for every single piece of food I came by. Any kind of food I ate, I immediately threw it back up. I didn't know why. 

After my parents died there were times when I didn't eat for days. Not by choice but I was just never fed. I got so used to the feeling of hunger that any bit of food after that just made me sick to my core. 

After careful consideration, I slowly reached over picked up a piece of sandwich, and took a bite. Peter watched me carefully from the other side of the island table. As if I was just glass, waiting to shatter. 

Immediately after I swallowed the first bite I wanted to throw up. But I didn't I shut my eyes tight and thought about something else, anything else. I managed to eat the entire half of the sandwich by focusing on my mother's voice the day before her death. 

"I'll love you until the ends of the earth."

A/n

whew, this was a chapter wasn't it?

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