Echoes of Eclipsed Fears (Frerard)

13. Loss then Victory

"So, what were you thinking of doing for your birthday?" Gerard asked in a polite tone as Frank lazily flipped through a magazine. Three days had passed since the pair had visited Frank's old apartment, and they were starting to become acclimated to each other as roommates. Frank was still slightly apprehensive, of course; he hadn't forgotten that Gerard had technically kidnapped him, and that he was a vampire who wanted to drink his blood. He paused for a moment, thinking. Did Gerard seriously expect him to make plans for his 23rd birthday?

"I'm not really sure," he mumbled. "It's so far away."

Gerard tutted. Frank wasn't sure why the man seemed so invested in his birthday.

"It's less than three weeks away," Gerard reasoned. He felt slightly jealous of the mortal boy. Gerard still celebrated his existence as the years went by, but they never felt like true birthdays. He was too lonely; he had few vampire friends, and all his mortal companions had moved on in their lives. There was something exciting about having a human in the house whose birthday was coming up, and Gerard was preparing himself to live vicariously through Frank's celebration. "I would offer you the house, but you can't really have a party here, or anything like that. I'd prefer if not too many people knew about our place."

Frank was taken aback. Our place? Really?

"It's fine," he stuttered. "I don't really have any friends, anyway."

Gerard gazed at Frank, feeling a twinge of sadness emanating from his slight frame. There was something else paired with it, though. Frank seemed to be feeling a sense of... loss?

"Oh," Gerard breathed. It all made sense now. Why Frank was alone; why he seemed so sad and reluctant to have get-togethers with his friends. "Frank..."

Frank looked up at Gerard, smiling with shiny eyes.

"It's fine," he said again. "I don't plan on doing anything this year."

Gerard sat down beside Frank, extending a kind hand.

"Will you tell me what happened?" He asked softly. "If you're comfortable."

"My friend Ray," Frank said plainly. Gerard nodded sympathetically, feeling Frank's sorrow through the air. Frank really didn't feel like explaining the full story, so he chose to keep it short and simple. "He was walking along the railroad one night last year, and he got hit." He bit his lip, trying to suppress any tears that were threatening to spill over his lashes. "They reckon he got mauled by a dog or something, beforehand. And then he was probably hurt, and fell on the tracks. We're not entirely sure, though."

Gerard frowned, feeling every ounce of emotion that Frank was feeling.

"You loved him," he said matter-of-factly. Frank nodded.

"He was my best friend since I was seven," he said, his lip quivering. "He was all I had left."

Gerard rubbed Frank's shoulder slightly.

"Is that why you don't want to do anything for your birthday, because it's your first one since losing him?"

Frank nodded.

"Everything feels... empty, without him."

Gerard sighed.

"I get that," he said sombrely. "And, pardon me, but he was all you had? What about your parents?"

"I don't speak with them anymore," Frank stated. Gerard understood.

"So, you don't have anyone to talk to about Ray, no one else to keep the old memories alive with."