Echoes of Eclipsed Fears (Frerard)

24. The Only Hope for Me

Frank woke up alone in Gerard's bed. He could hear the clattering of pots and pans in the kitchen downstairs; Gerard must have been fixing him breakfast. Frank's heart fluttered at the gesture, before his brain reminded him of why Gerard must be doing something so kind for him.

Today was Ray's anniversary.

Frank sighed shakily, throwing the covers off of his body. He really didn't want to get out of bed, but he figured things would be easier if he forced himself to move forward. He staggered towards the shower, eyes still ridden with sleep. He scrubbed his body harshly, drying off and anointing his tattoo before pulling on a sweatshirt and jeans.

He was met with a hug from Gerard as soon as he made his way downstairs.

"Morning, Frankie," Gerard said softly. "I made you breakfast."

"Thank you," Frank said, his eyes travelling to the counter behind Gerard. A stack of pancakes sat on a plate. "You're the best."

Frank dug into the pancakes straight away, wolfing them down while they were still warm. Gerard wasn't as cuddly this morning, instead hovering by the kitchen sink.

"How are you feeling?" He asked cautiously. Frank shrugged.

"Not great," he admitted, "but I'll be okay."

Once Frank finished his breakfast, he made his way upstairs to his room again. Gerard warily followed him, unable to sense whether or not Frank needed space.

They shared a tight embrace in the doorway of Frank's bedroom, Frank burying his face in Gerard's neck.

"I think I'm just going to cry now, get it over and done with," Frank said, his voice sounding higher than usual. "I'll come back out later, meet me in the living room?"

"Okay," Gerard said, planting a gentle kiss on Frank's forehead. "I love you."

Frank smiled sadly as Gerard disappeared down the stairs. He closed his door, taking the photo frame of him and Ray off the bedside table. Frank also retrieved the box of treasures from under his bed. He picked out the two photos of Ray that he had and laid them out in front of him. He hugged the picture frame to his chest, silent tears streaming down his face.

"Fuck," he whispered, biting his tongue and trembling. He rearranged the photos on his bed so they were in chronological order: the framed one of him and Ray at graduation, the one from Christmas 2002, and the one from Warped Tour 2003. Frank grasped his head in his hands, rocking back and forth slightly.

He couldn't believe it had been a whole year.

"I miss you, I miss you," he repeated. "So fu-" he was cut off by his mouth doing that weird clicking thing from sobbing. He shuddered, sniffling. "So fucking much."

Frank lay back on the bed, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes. He sighed shakily, trying to control his breathing. Eventually the tears subsided, and the room fell silent. Frank wiped his nose, feeling better now that he'd gotten his emotions out. He dragged himself out of bed to splash water on his face. Frank returned to his bedroom one last time, tidying up the photos and replacing the box under his bed. He picked up the framed photo, reminding himself of a new promise. Gerard had bought him this picture frame. It served as a symbol of hope, he concluded, that his life had gotten better since he'd moved in with the vampire.

Frank gently placed the photo back on his bedside table, heading down the stairs to the lounge room. Gerard was watching the fire; he looked like he was about to cry. Frank wondered if his emotions had rubbed off on the vampire.

Gerard turned his head to watch Frank enter the room, holding his arms out for a hug. Frank dove into his chest, nuzzling his face into Gerard's neck.

"You're so strong," Gerard whispered. "Thank you for staying here with me."