Her Good Boy

Chapter 8| Nightmare

TW: sexual assault, flashbacks, sexism

Alex pov:

"Get off!"

"Come on you're a man."

"Please get off."

"Guys want it."

"No!"

I sprung out of bed, gasping for air. Shit, I think I lost the ability to breathe. My head was spiralling out of control, I could feel my heart getting heavy and hurting. My whole body felt itchy as if I didn't like the feel of my own skin. God, I don't know what's happening and that was almost the scariest part.

Where am I? What time is it? What day is it? The questions were screaming in my head.

What just happened?

My ears felt like they would explode off my face from how loud they were ringing. How do I get everything to stop!? I heard the small ring of something light hitting down on the floor, probably nothing.

I looked around frantically. My eyes seemed blurry like I couldn't see anything clearly. Jesus where are my glasses!? I can't see a thing. Fuck. I kept blinking and blinking until my eyes could focus on the world around me. I watched as my room slowly appeared: my wardrobe, the windows that overlooked the garden, the gold curtains, the mirror behind one of the double doors, and my bed. I'm in my bed.

"I'm in my room. In my room. In my bed. It was just a nightmare." I whispered to myself. A nightmare that's all it was. Yeah, just a nightmare.

Why am I still getting nightmares? It's been just over a week since it happened and I've had nightmare after nightmare. Every. Single. Night. I even got them in the day. I haven't been able to go an hour without panicking. I must look so stupid in Ashley's eyes.

This nightmare though. This nightmare was different. This nightmare was worse. This was the worst one I've had yet and I'm sure they'll only get worse if I don't do anything.

While I was trying to calm myself down, my bedroom door flew open, causing me to physically jump. I looked up and saw Ashley standing in my doorframe. She was practically panting, did she run down here? "Are you-" I started.

"I heard a scream. Are you alright?" Ashley interrupted, gasping for breath. I didn't notice that I screamed. Did I do it in my sleep? Or when I woke up? Ashley practically ran over to my bed. Was she worried about me? God, I was so confused, at least I'm home not at the club.

"I-I'm sorry, did I wake you?" I mumbled, looking her up at down. Ashley was wearing shorts and an oversized shirt, nothing like she'd wear out.

Ashley took a deep breath, trying to keep calm. "That doesn't matter. I want to know if you are okay?" Ashley snapped. She'd caught her breath now, I saw her looking over at my pillow for tear stains perhaps.

I nodded slowly. "I'm fine, just... just a nightmare," I mumbled with a small sigh. I ran my fingers through my hair while breathing deeply. "Yeah, just a nightmare..." I repeated, mostly just to remind myself. I rested my head in my hands as I spoke, "I'm sorry I keep having nightmares... I know it's not fair on you." I felt really bad that I was constantly complaining about nightmares. I haven't been able to focus on anything for the past week. I felt even worse because this was the first time I actually woke Ashley up with my nightmares.

Ashley was now standing right next to me, at the bedside. She instinctively grabbed my hands in hers. Which didn't make me blush... at all. "Amore, you don't need to apologize. You went through something shitty, and I know it's not going to be easy." Ashley said softly, bringing my hands to her lips and giving the back of my hand a small reassuring kiss.