𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨, 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 ( 𝙬𝙖𝙡𝙠𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙡 )

𝙤𝙣𝙚

CHAPTER ONE

a sight for sore eyes

when i was ten years old, i started filmmaking. i made a single two minute video recorded on my dad's ipad resting on my bed frame of me playing with pony dolls. i created, and created. that's all i did, all i knew i would be doing.

when i was eleven, i wrote my first screenplay. it was five pages of pure shit, something about a princess and a dog. i would say what it's about -- i have it stuffed into a memory box -- but the plethora of misspellings make it untranslatable.

when i was twelve, i had my first kiss. it was with my crush at the time, some kid named jake, at a pizza party. i felt like i was in a movie, so i went home after, my cheeks still bright red, and immediately started writing. i wrote a ten page short film -- romance, of course. anyway, that crush ended up ghosting me after i asked him to hang out a few days later. another short film. this time, angst... with some romance.

when i was thirteen, i started watching films over and over again, specifically ones with characters i thought were hot ( could you blame me? ). i fantasized about these boys being cast in my oscar-winning films, prompting me to write what i thought was the romance film of the year: a love hexagon between me and all my celebrity crushes. i didn't show it to anyone. no one wanted to read about me making out with christian bale.

when i was fourteen, i met the girl who, in fact, did want to. maeve bishop, my best friend, is absolutely insane. and that's solely because she enjoys reading my insane work. we fueled each other's passions for storytelling, we learned all we could about filmmaking, and she actually helped me write longer pieces.

when i was fifteen, the two of us wrote our first twenty five minute short film. we called it: howl at the sun. no, it's not about a werewolf -- it's metaphorical. it's actually about seeking the unattainable and embracing vulnerability. we were so proud of it. it's deep, it's beautifully written, it's our first solid piece. just needed to be made.

now, i'm sixteen. the ap classes took over, and sophomore year seemed neverending. maeve and i hadn't even started filming. and don't get me started on casting. at that point, the characters were neglected and they were the unattainable that we didn't have time to seek. we tried to talk about filmmaking when we could, joking about which annoying boy in our classes we would cast as the main character, caleb.

but life just got in the way. i was miserable focusing on useless things i didn't enjoy. i hate to admit it, but i'm pretty sure i forgot about howl at the sun for a few months.

until there was talk of a new kid coming into our school by the next week. apparently he was famous. i didn't believe them. i had lost faith in the people in my grade years before. plus, the last rumor that went around was that our principal was sleeping with the whole janitorial staff!