𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 // 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐤𝐚𝐢 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐑𝐚𝐢𝐥

[更好的] 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓉𝑒𝓇 12

------------ " Useless? "

You wake up to the hard mattress of the hotel bed you were offered for free. Although it wasn't comfortable you couldn't argue .Hence, it was a free roof you are living in. Complaining about it would make you an ungrateful person.

You vividly remember Nao. But, you knew well that it wasn't possible to see her. Only in the after life you shall start your adventure with her again.

Since you weren't hurt badly, no one was beside you. Must be busy doing side quests, or helping those in need after that terrible battle that occurred.

To be honest, you are very useless. You aren't much help... Oh, yeah, you are the one in need of help. But, since everyone praise you... Maybe the 'you' before your official memories were wipe was actually useful.

You went through alot, from losing precious memories with friends, skin buring off... Etc.

The wrinkle bed was not helping you at all, just make you thought about the fact that you losing your memories make you an actual an odd one in the group. You feel no bounds with them. You don't feel love in the friendship . It suck, just that you'll not understand what in-side joke they are using or anything they have already offer.

Looking out the not so clean window you were met with the dark pitch sky, some building tall enough for them to block your view. It was depressing.

Afterall, it was night... No one is around, yet you're still awake not being able to sleep. You slept through the day.

You keep seeing someone who isn't there anymore, you miss them. But, you have to stop this hallucination or else you'll end up somewhere you'll regret one day.

As much as you love her, you have to let her go.

"Ugh... My head..." Your head hurt, like a migraine. You sit down hard on the rock hard bed as you put your hand on the place which was hurting.

You close your eyes as you try to focus on breathing instead, you felt as you were floating around the room as you suddenly feel warm. Extremely warm.

You try to stand up, but you fall back down because you feel like you were dancing in the sky. With all your strength you use the bed to support you and get up from bed. As you were getting closer to the door, your hand on the handle about to open it. So, that you could ask for help.

"She's quite useless..." .

Your eye shots open as you stop yourself from opening the door, your hand that was on the handle fall numb as it was by your side now. 'useless, who?'.

"You mean... Her? Yeah, she's supposed to help yet she keep fainting, dragging the whole group down".

Your head hurt again, as you lean on the wall as you listen closely... Even tho you could barely stand up straight you listen. You knew they were talking about you. Who else is there to talk about, other than you.

"Sure, she's just there for what? Before she got that head injury she was doing great... Now? Nao? Who even is that? A past lover that cheated on her? Seriously we do not need someone like her, to help us. We're better on our own. Hell, let's just make sure she's injured on the day of any attack so she won't distract anyone while fighting"

You just sigh.

Limping towards the bed as you just lay down... Hoping for your headache to just vanish.

You knew that you were a burden to the group, but you simply ignore it calling it 'overthinking' you didn't want to admit to being utterly useless. It felt as people were using word's as dart playing with your heart. That wasn't the case, instead... You were the one playing with your heart since you over look on how fragile and useless you were. Thinking delusions, hoping that maybe your delusional thinking would help you get out your current situation. Yet, the reality of what you were facing you hit you hard.

It's either you get a headache, falling, skin buring off, worst of them all seeing Her.

It's not like you asked to forget everything but Her, it would have been better if you forget her and remember everyone else. You love her, but this is too far. Being taunt like this... By your own thoughts and eyes is terrible. A situation you would rather die than ever live through it again.

Love is strong, it really is... That's great! But, you just wish for this love you once call the best feelings to disappear. To move on: being a better person. Yet, you're here laying on the hotel bed, complaining about everything in your life you could remember. You absolutely hate to even see her or even hear her name. Nao, nao nao...

It's not fair for Nao for you to be like this, childish. It's not fair you have to live through the pain of knowing someone you used to love is dead no returning... Everything is dull, because she isn't there anymore. No matter how much of a miracle or even selling your soul would bring back the person you love cause she's dead.

"Gosh... Im ranting about a dead person, what have i become to reach this point...?" Asking yourself as you just silently wait for a reply...? That was very pathetic on your side. You logged for Nao yet here you are acting like this to forget the pain. Real pathetic of you.

The silence was enough for you to stop breathing and... Just wait.

"Shit, if i just lay there doing nothing... I'll be rotting" you say as you slowly raise up supporting yourself since the headache was getting alot better.

Looking out the window, you swear good out the main door only lead to unwanted trouble...

As you open the window it wasn't that high, there was a pipe right next to your window. This might be an idiotic move, but it's better than facing those people who bad mouth you infront of your room.

From this night, I'll become better rather than blaming those who help me. I promise.