The Last Note

Chapter 4: The Dark Side

             “I talked to William Mendez” sabi ni Erika kay Jayson habang naglalakad sila papunta sa university library.

                “Ha?!” he replied. The usual Jayson, sabi ng dalaga sa kanyang sarili.

                “Wala siyang kilalang Abby”

                “Talaga?”

                “I don’t know, pero baka naman kasi talagang novel styled ang diary na iyan”

                “If there’s something I can pinpoint that separate this from novels is its lack of formal narration Erika.” Jayson smiled. He knows what he is talking about. “Saka ang awkward naman kung kakausapin mo na lang basta si William ukol doon nang di mo pa siya gaanong kilala”

                “Sure. Sure. You win. It is your territory by the way. I trust in you” sabi ni Erika

                “Pero nakipag usap ka kay William nang di ko pa tapos ano?”

                “This is getting nowhere Jay, change topic. Baka magsabunutan pa tayo rito.” Erika joked. She was clearly irritated.

                 The poor guy knew it. Kailangan na naman niyang amuhin ang kaibigan.

                 “BFF. Huwag ka nang magalit oh? I love you”

                 “Eeh, Ikaw naman kasi” sabi ni Erika. “Keme na. Naiintindihan ko ang point mo. I wonder,” she began. “I envy the girl, hindi ko pa nararanasan iyan”

Jayson laughed.

                  “Anong gusto mong sabihin ko? I envy the boy, kasi….”

                 “Loko loko kang keme ka!” saka ihinampas ni Erika ang shoulder bag sa binata. Jayson dodged it.

                “Well, napasaya na naman kita Erika” Jayson is now smiling.

                “Oh sure. Kaya di talaga kita maitatapon. Walang pupulot”

                Pagkatapos nilang maghiwalay ay napag-isipang basahin ng binata ang naging babasahin.

               Jayson’s about to turn the diary’s 18th journal entry but it was ripped off. Ang thirtieth entry ang kanyang naabutan. Halatang nabasa ang diary, pero hindi pagkabasa dahil sa bumagsak sa tubigan.

                “Parang naulanan” he thought.

                “Unfair. Halfway through our monthsary, I felt a certain fear sa loob ko. I broke off. Will is not the person I knew before. May ex siya, she is so much better than me. I mean, beauty and brains. Ako parehas na wala. They were once the talk of the town. Couple of the university as they say. On how they broke up, I don’t know.”

                Jayson stopped. A twist of fate is about to happen.

                “That’s okay. I thought. Why be jealous? Ako ang mahal ngayon ni Will. Hindi ko alam, hindi ko alam.”

                Her entry ended like that. Hanging. Jayson was confused. Gusto niyang basahin ang mga susunod pang araw. Yet he asked himself, handa na ba siya? He realized na patak ng luha ang marks sa diary ng dalaga.

                He closed the diary in haste. Naisip niya na too much na ang kanyang pagbabasa. After a minute or two, binuklat niya ulit ang journal entry ng dalaga. He realized that there are missing entries in her diary. Pinunit perhaps, he thought. He decided to read the diary tomorrow sa bleachers ng university - alone.

                It was exactly nine in the morning when he woke up. Gumayak ng saglit saka tumanga sa lugar na pinangakuan niyang pagtatangahan. His job is to find the missing parts of the diary. He noticed a girl reading a book sa lugar na pinagkitaan niya ng diary noon. Biglang pinagpawisan ang binata.

                “Ahm… Miss?” sabi ng binata.

                “Bakit po?”

                “May naiwan po ba kayong notebook noong mga nakaraang araw?” umaasa siyang siya ang Abby na nasa diary.

                “Ha? Eh wala naman? Bakit po?”

                “Ah, wala wala po”

                Maling akala. He thought. Sometimes his paranoia gets through him. He sat malayo mula sa babaeng nagbabasa at nagsimulang magbasa ng diary. Gusto niyang malaman kung sino ang may ari nito. Ang problema lang, ni totoong pangalan, wala. Si William Mendez lang ang kilala niya.

                “I cannot be like her. Hindi ako maganda. Hindi ako matalino. Paano kung isang araw mawala na lang siya sa akin at bumalik siya sa kanya?”         

                Jayson felt Abby’s fangs of insecurity. It was real. Kung gawa lang iyon ng isang writer then she won, he thought.

                “Tell me, normal lang bang magselos? Sabihin ko na ke Will? Kami naman na eh. Paano kung magalit siya? Paano kung?....”

                “Iwan ka ni William?” sabi ng binata. Siya na ang tumapos sa journal entry ng dalaga.

                “I asked Will about her. He smiled. Parte na lang daw siya ng nakaraan. Her personality stinks, he said. I believed in him. Yet I can feel disgust mula sa kanya pag tinatanong ko ang name niya. I am afraid, is he bitter or what? I don’t know. Hello, Jurassic Era pa ata noong huling nagkagirlfriend ang aking boyfriend.”

                “Now things are getting a little more complicated. Throw an ex along the way then this changes everything” sabi ng binata sa kanyang sarili.

                “Nagseselos ka ba? He asked. I was at a loss of words. Hindi ko alam. Ayun, umiyak ako sa harap niya. He was confused eh. Ang sabi niya na lang, worry not, ex niya na lang yun.

                 I have a joke by the way. Ang ex daw ang hayop na nagsisimula sa letter x, oha? Hahaha. Sana lang talaga hindi maging ganoon si Will. Hihi”

                “So we ate at McDonald’s Cabanatuan the next day, hindi siya ang palatawang Will na nandoon. Tahimik lang siya, sobra. I asked him why. Busy lang daw sa mga requirements para sa pag aayos ng OJT niya. And he kept on looking on his cell phone. Which is hindi niya ginagawa dati.”

                  “Ooh” sabi ni Jayson. He is now to turn to the other page of the diary.

                 “Ang sabi ko, may lakad ka ba Will? Kasi kung mayroon willing akong umuwi na tayo sa university. We can have these as take outs. He shook his head. Mukha siyang iritado sa nangyari. I insisted. Nasira na rin ang araw ko. He reluctantly agreed. Hindi kami nag usap mula paglabas ng McDo hanggang pagbaba sa university. He knew why. Pero hindi niya na binanggit sa akin.

                   He kissed me good night pagkababa sa bus. Then I cried the way home. My mommy noticed this. She asked me why. Ayun. iyak na lang ako ng iyak sa kanya. Hindi ko masimulan ang sasabihin ko eh. Salamat na rin kasi inakap niya ako. At mukhang alam niya kung bakit. When I sobbed, she asked my why. I shook my head. Bad school day, sabi ko kay mommy. It is the very first time I lied to her - dahil kay William. Hindi ba normal lang naman ang ganoon? Hindi naman sa lahat ng araw dapat masaya kayo palagi, hindi ba?”

              The next things he read were unintelligible scribbles. Jayson felt there's something terribly wrong, which is obviously unnecessary to pinpoint at that moment. He decided to call Erika. Hahanapin na nila si Abby at William.