The Last Note

Chapter 5: Wistful Mood

Chapter 5

Wistful Mood

        Jayson called Erika that night. They agreed to meet sa Registrations Building kinabukasan ng 9 am. While Erika slept well, he read the remaining days sa diary ni Abby.        

Erika was waiting for Jayson sa harap ng Registrations Building and she is getting impatient. Late muli ang binata. Late para sa kanyang pasensya. She promised herself to give him a punch pagdating niya.

                To cool her boiling head, umupo muna siya sa harap ng building para mag obserba. She saw William walking towards the building.

                “Ang gwapo talaga ni William Mendez.” Sabi ni Erika. “Oh my God.”

                She noticed something about him. He is not happy.

                “Okay. Melancholy tinged. What’s wrong with him?” sabi ng dalaga sa kanyang sarili. “Kung totoo ang nasa diary, the event was over a year ago, 2008 na ngayon. Hindi pa siya nakakamove on kay Abby kung wala na sila? Hmm? Or is it someone else? Teka, nasaan na ang Jayson?! Mapapatay ko na talaga iyon. Hrg.”

                 Meanwhile, before Jayson could understand what he is doing going to do later that day, he flipped the 37th entry of her diary. His eyes were in awe.

                   “Wala na kami ni Will. I do not know what to say. Wala akong matakbuhan so ibubuhos ko na ang lahat dito. Ang sakit. Napakasakit. I wish you can talk back to me. Nahihiya ako sa parents ko. Handa ako sa lahat puwera dito. How did it happen?

After the McDo incident, William said his apology to me. Wala akong magawa. I forgave him after all. Mahal na mahal ko kasi siya eh. I do not know. Bakit siya magkakaganoon na lang ng basta? What is on his mind? I asked him. Okay lang ba siya? He nodded.

He said isasa ayos niya lang daw ang mga bagay na hindi pa naaayos sa nakaraan. I got it.   His ex. My eyes went wet. I don’t know. May kutob ako. Siya pa rin ata.

                We still date and see each other, pero napalayo na ako sa kanya. Parang hindi ko na siya kilala. Ang dark na ng mood niya, dati rati ang saya saya ni William. Ngayon – okay, nababasa na kita sa luha ko. I am so sorry.

                Ayos ka lang ba? I asked him. Hindi niya ako sinagot.

              Nagkikita na ba ulit kayo ni May? Second question ko. Hindi niya muli sinagot ang tanong ko.

               Mahal mo pa rin ba siya?

              Lorraine, sabi niya. Napahinto ako. Ngayon pa lang niya ako tinawag in my real name. Stop asking questions. Nalilito na ako. Dugtong niya.

              I cried at that moment. Was there anything I did to make him act like that?! Ang ginawa ko lang ay mahalin siya.

                Stop crying. It is not your fault. Sabi niya. It is just that. It is over Lorraine. Hindi na kita mahal.

               Okay. Got it. Siya pa rin. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko noon. Nagresearch ako, it was just three weeks after their break up noong niligawan ako ni William. Ako naman, gaga, nagpatihulog. Not knowing, sigh.

               Umalis na lang ako. Ayoko kasing makipag-away sa kanya. Hindi niya ako hinabol. I wish I could slap his face. Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta. I want to hug my mommy at that very moment. She has warned me. I did not listen. Love is not everything, she told me. I did not believe in her. Gaga ako, sinunod ko puso ko. At ngayon. I am hurting myself.