ACCIDENTAL MATES

9. This will not go anywhere

Phoenix Augustus

No, this is not true.

This can't be true.

It has to be a lie.

It's a mistake.

All this, it's a mistake, it's an illusion.

My wolf has lost its mind.

He is in no state to tell me what's correct and what's not.

Right, everything is mistake.

My life is the biggest mistake.

MATE! Go back to our mate! He needs us! I could sense his confused mind and his tangled emotions. Go Phoenix, go! We need to comfort our mate. He's in distress, his mind and body is radiating a sense of uncomforting aroma, his wolf is howling for me. His scent, it's covered with discomfort, I can't. We, We just- We can't leave our mate like this Phoenix.

NO! NO! NO!

Breathe.

Calm down, Pheonix. Because if you will not calm the fuck down, then your hands might do something stupid that would make you follow the path of remorse and sorrow, or worse, grief.

I halted down my steps, taking few seconds to shut my lids and suck in few sharp intakes of air, releasing them as slowly as I can. But really, anger is one dangerous disease if you've ever gotten infected with it.

As much as I try to ignore all of my faults and run from them as if they're plague, there's one such thing that I'm annoyingly aware of that gets holds of me when nothing seems to stop and I just completely lose my mind and start rambling shit like I'm doing right now!

Anger.

As much as I hate to admit, I have some really, brain wracking and vein popping anger issues. There are many reasons as to why I don't want to remember, or more of, acknowledge my faults. But the only reason as to why I am oddly aware of the fact that my anger always gets better of me is due to the fact that I completely lose my mind, and somehow, lose the ability to think and act which leads me doing very stupid thing.

One such example of this stupid horrendous stupidity could have the current activity done by me.

"Fucking hell is with this stupid door! Why does it have to be closed? Can you not fucking keep the doors open when you're aware of the fact that there's someone from the house missing from the boundaries?"

My hard and violent, and maybe loud, slamming on the front door was finally answered by a very heavy lidded Lorcan, who seems to be so engrossed in his somnolence that he might have no idea as to what am I even speaking.

My feet stopped right in front of the threshold of my house, where my angry and enraged footsteps finally halted. The first thing I did was to check my surrounding, confirming that it is indeed my own house, a place where I reside and not some random home that I came across with thinking that I am to be associated with the family members living here.

The second thing I did was based on pure instinct, that being loudly banging on the front door like some dude from the sixties who seems to forget that there are such things as doorbell that exists. But really, as I mentioned, anger always seems to have a hold on me in ways that I cannot quite describe.

If only I could have someone else, a person, having that hold on me that make me do stupid things and lose my mind, I wouldn't even find myself as I am today. Perhaps a little happier, if I may say.

My eyes frantically glared at the front door, making it seem like it is the duty of that door to open itself and welcome me with a cherishing smile, and not look like the way it was looking like, completely closed and so out of place that makes me want to smash it into million pieces.