Fell in Love with my Bully

The Storm: Joo Ha's pov

He is beautiful. He is cute. When he is excited, his speech starts to become unclear, so one will have to just stare at his face to get what he was saying, and trust me! staring at him must be the most fun thing to do. I could feel my heart flutter each time he would smile at me. And he smiled a lot. He was happy.

We were saying goodbye. And I grabbed his hand. I told him to skip school on Monday. And then I walked away.

I couldn't sleep that night. I was thinking. I was thinking about the terrible things they were planning to do with Do Yoon.

I had decided to never bother Do Yoon after the first day I bullied him. As he was really fragile, and as I kind of liked him seeing happy, not trembling. The boys wouldn't have any problem with it either. They don't care about who they are beating.

But the problem occurred when Mingyu reached out to Sehun. They knew each other as they bought drugs from the same dealer. And when Mingyu found out Do Yoon went to Sehun's school. He didn't waste a minute.

He exposed every little information of Do Yoon's. And, as expected, Sehun got interested in Do Yoon. Sehun didn't even tell anyone what he knew, neither did Mingyu. So I didn't know either.

'What happened to Do Yoon that he had to change school? What made him so fragile?' I thought to myself.

But anyway, I had told the boys of my class to not bother Do Yoon anymore. Sehun obviously didn't agree.

He came up to Do Yoon's bench. I couldn't control myself that day. I punched Sehun which was a very wrong decision. Sehun had a strong position in our school, though he was not physically stronger than me. His older brother actually controlled all these delinquents  (bullies) like me and the drug chain of our school. So punching Sehun, was declaring that I have a dead wish.

That day I ran away from school with Do Yoon and Jongin as soon as possible. All the boys from the gang kept calling me. And I kept ignoring it. When I went home that night, I found Sehun and a few more boys.

And I went with them to our gang's hangout place. I found Sehun's brother there.

"You punched my brother?" He asked with cold eyes.

I just remained quiet.

"Okay! What was this guy's name again Sehun-aaaah?"

"Do Yoon." Sehun answered smirking at me.

"Are you interested in him, Joo Ha? You wanna fuck him?"

I tensed up but didn't utter a word.

"On Monday, Sehun has a surprise for that boy... And you are gonna be the opening act!!! Punch him as much as possible!!! Kick him as much as possible!!! It should be satisfying! And you don't want to get back to those messed up days, right?"

I nodded. I could see Sehun and the others laughing at me.

I wasn't really guilty then. I felt like I had to do this in order to survive.

But when I passed the next day with Do Yoon, I started to feel terrible.

When I came back I felt like vomiting. He tried to talk to me many times before Monday but I couldn't get myself to face him.

Then... Monday came. I hoped he won't come but he did. I did what I was told to do.

After leaving Do Yoon there, Mingyu offered to treat all of us to barbecue. I didn't wanted to go. But I was dragged. They drank until I don't remember... 3 am maybe. I ran to Do Yoon's place as soon as I got rid of them.

I kept knocking on the door. I had this feeling that he was surely not alright. I went downstairs and knocked. Then I found the owner of the house. He brought the keys with him. I went in.

And yes... I was right. Do Yoon was in his balcony, unconscious and both of his wrists were bleeding like hell. I took him to hospital. Jongin came.

We waited the whole night for him to be awake. But he stayed there, not moving an inch, looking as pale as snow.

When it was almost dawn, he woke up. Maybe he saw Jongin as he opened his eyes, not noticing me sitting on the sofa quite far from his bed.

"Why weren't you there last day?"

That's the first thing Do Yoon said to Jongin.

Jongin smiled. "You noticed?" He said.

He stayed quiet.

I then went closer to him. He saw me. There was no emotion on his face. He closed his eyes.

"Do Yoon... I didn't mean to hurt you. But they are stronger than me. They forced me! I would have never hurt you! But I can't go against the gang!" I was literally pleading in front of him. But he never looked at me.

Then, suddenly, he was laughing.

"Coward! All of you guys whom I felt I could trust, are cowards!
They are stronger than you?
So... If you didn't beat me up, they would have beat you instead...right?
And you decided to beat me.
UNBELIEVABLE!
I want to spit at your face right now. I am so disgusted. I thought you were warm. I thought you were like Taeyi. But you know... You are like Taeyi... Both of you are cowards!!!
I thought you were nice. Ha ha ha... What a joke I am...right?
Don't ever try to be friendly with me. We are not friends. I hate you." He said.

I couldn't utter one word. He was not wrong. I am a coward. He asked both Jongin and me to leave him alone. So we left.