The Cost of Conjuring: A Bargain Beyond Blood

14. I should have seen that coming

I open my eyes and Li is there. Unmoving in the sea of bodies, smoke, and light. Watching me. His red eyes filled with amusement, and a smirky smile on his lips.

It's so clear now, without all the fear, doubt, and self-judgment clouding up my head. I know exactly what I want.

I smile at him, a real smile, probably the first I've ever given him, as I dance closer. Right now I can be nice. More importantly, I want to be.

For a second he looks stunned which makes me smile even broader. I can't stop, I feel too good.

"I thought you'd forgotten me," I shout.

"What are you doing?" he asks. He doesn't have to shout, somehow I hear him just fine over the thumping music.

"Being nice," I grin. "That was the deal, right?"

His eyes narrow with suspicion, making me laugh.

"You're dancing." It's half question, half accusation.

I raise my eyebrows at him. "Yeah? I thought that's what you wanted. Your last message said—"

"I know what it said."

I'm as close as I can get without touching him. Moving to the music but not really dancing.

I'm bubbling and sparkling with energy and I love the way he looks at me right now. Like I'm the only thing he sees. Like he's really trying to see me.

I get up on my toes, put a hand on his shoulder, and lean toward his pointy ear. He stands absolutely still, and as I thought I have no problem being this close.

"I never thanked you for helping me obtain the stone and the worlds. So, thank you. I appreciate it, even though I'm usually bad at showing it."

The look he gives me is priceless. Like I just turned into a juggling troll in a wig. "How high are you?"

I laugh again and let go of his shoulder. The song merges into a new one and the laser lights pick up speed.

For some reason, he doesn't laugh with me.

"Do you even know what you are doing?"

What kind of question is that? I never know what I'm doing. All I do is fuck things up.

"I make it, you think I can't handle it?"

"No, I—"

"Li," I interrupt him, putting a hand on his chest just because I want to. "I know what I'm doing. I know what I want. Don't pretend to be some kind of white knight. We both know that's bullshit."

My hand is still on his chest. The fabric of his shirt soft against my sweaty palm. I like how warm he is. I like the connection.

"This is me without all the crap making me miserable. Enjoy it while it lasts, that's what I plan to do."

This close I have to crane my neck to see his face and it's clear when he lets go of whatever doubts he has because the smirky smile lights up his face again. Fueled by confidence.

"You want a drink?" he asks, gesturing towards the bar.

"Sure."

He starts to move and I grab his hand. Partly because I don't want to lose him in the crowd and partly because I want to know what it feels like. His eyes snap to our joined hands and then to my face. I don't know what he's looking for, but he either finds it or gives up because after a second he turns and leads us to the bar.

One of the bartenders ushers two girls off their bar stools as we approach. Li uses our connected hands to help me up before reluctantly letting go.

The music isn't as loud here but I'll still have to shout for him to hear me. I move my stool closer to him as he silently communicates our order to the bartender.