Breathless

Breathless Part 11

"Danneel! Hey thanks for coming." Jared exclaimed.
You couldn't breathe. You couldn't blink. Why was she holding his hand? Your head was spinning and you weren't quite sure what to do.
"Of course. You know I wouldn't miss this."
Jensen cleared his throat and forced a smile as he pulled Jared into a hug.
"Congrats brother. Happy for you. Happy for you both." He tried so hard not to look back at you, but it was useless. He couldn't help it.
"How are you? Was it hard?" Danneel asked, as she sat beside Gen.
You tried to shut them out, shut everyone out and focus on the baby. Pretend everything was okay. And that you hadn't just seen the man you love, walk in with another woman.
"H-hi." A familiar voice rang.
Your stomach was in knots, and your body was still.
You met his gaze, and felt the room spin. Everything was closing in.
"How are you?" He muttered. His heart racing as he stood in front of you.
"I-im good." You forced out.
He clenched his jaw shut, silence thickening as the tension built. All he wanted was to hold you again. To feel you pushed up against him.
"J! Did you hear me?" Danneel asked, capturing both yours and Jensen's attention.
She made her way to his side. "You okay there buddy?" She chuckled, as she linked her arm around his.
She met your gaze, forcing heat to radiate your body. You were taken aback by her. Danneel was beautiful, and so lively. Something about her was just so intriguing. Which made it hard to hate her.
"Hi I'm Danneel." She flashed a smile.
You smirked and nodded. "Y/N."
"Nice to meet you." She looked down at the baby and squealed. "Oh my god! He's so perfect! Can I carry him?" She asked.
You nodded and carefully handed the baby over.
"His name is Thomas." Jared said, leaning against the wall.
You could feel Jensen's gaze lingering and it was making everything worse.
You cleared your throat and forced a smile. "It was nice to see you." You said.
Walking over to Gen, you pressed your lips to her forehead. "Well I have to go. But I will come visit again soon."
"Aw okay. Well thank you for coming. I'll call you later okay?"
You nodded and pulled Jared in for a hug. "Take care of her, got it?" You chuckled.
"Yes ma'am."
Jensen watched you leave the room. And the very moment the door closed, he finally let out a long breath, not realizing he was holding it in.
"Who was that?" Danneel whispered.
He pursed his lips and swallowed hard. "No one, just an old friend."
-----
(A few weeks later)
"You want a beer?" Gen asked.
"Sure." You said as you held Tom in your arms.
He was sleeping peacefully, and you loved to look at him. Holding him and smelling him. He was beautiful.
"Here you go." She flashed a smile.
Gen plopped down next to you, as you carefully laid Tom down onto the swing.
"How are you?" She asked, taking a sip of her wine.
You shrugged. "Eh I'm okay. Been extremely busy with work."
"That's right! You're the Editor in Chief now. How's that going?"
"It's great. I mean, it's a lot more work but I love it."
She flashed a smile as she heard you go on about your job.
"Well I am glad you are happy. I really missed you. It hasn't been the same without you."
You looked down at the bottle in your hand, and took in a deep breath. You were going to regret what you were going to say next, but you needed to know.
"Are they together?" You asked.
Gen pursed her lips and nodded. "Seems like it."
"W-where did they-I mean h-how-"
"They met on set for a movie. Well technically they've been friends, but he asked her out after the movie."
Of course. You've heard of her before. But never put a face to the name. This was exactly what you were scared of. But then again, you practically pushed him into her arms.
"Is he happy?" Your voice slightly shook.
"I guess so. I mean there are times you can just tell something is missing, but for the most part, he seems happy." Gen wasn't the one to bullshit and keep things from you. She was blunt and that was one of the things you loved about her. She was honest.
"Well if he's happy, then I'm happy." You took a big gulp of your beer.
"Hey, you know, no matter what, you will always be apart of my life. You're family and I love you like a sister. I hope you know that. And plus, Tom needs you in his life. We all do."
Her words stitched to you, making you start to tear. "I love you Gen." You chuckled.
"I know. I love you too Y/N." She pulled you in for a quick hug. "Okay, enough of that. Ready to catch up on the Bachelor? Who do you think he's going to give the rose to? I swear if it's Jennifer, I am going to hurt him."
You nodded in agreement and shifted your eyes to the screen. "Exactly! He will be stupid if he doesn't give the Rose to Amy. She is so perfect for him."
You both continued as you watched the show. It was one of the things that you two loved. Every Monday, was your night. With a glass of wine. You enjoyed spending time with her.
-------
(One year later)
You held the box in your hand as you rang the doorbell. Excited to see everyone, especially see Tom.
It was his birthday. Finally turning one and you were thrilled!
The door swung open, and there stood Gen with Tom on her hip.
"Hey sweetie!" You squealed as you tickled his little tummy. "Happy birthday bug."
He reached his arm out to you. "Y/N!"
You pulled him to you, and smiled.
"Hey, come on, everyone is out in the back."
You followed her through the house as Tom played with your hair.
"The boys are barbecuing."
"Awesome! Can't wait to eat. I'm starving." You chuckled.
As you both made your way to the yard, you saw familiar faces. Some you haven't seen in while.
"Hey!" Jared exclaimed, giving you a side hug.
"Hey Moose. Having fun?"
"Hell yeah. It's nice to have a small break from shooting and being with my family." He smiled. "Want a beer?"
You nodded and put Tom down.
"I thought it was you."
You snapped your gaze back. "Jensen." You whispered.
He flashed a giant smile, the one you loved for so many years. His arms reached out and pulled you in for a hug. His scent being the only thing you breathed.
It's been a year and yet, you still missed him more than anything. And being in his arms, it still made you feel safe, secure.
"How ya been?" He asked.
"I've been good! Just working a lot. You know how that could be." You chuckled. "What about you? How's life Mr. ackles?"
"It's great! Just been shooting and stuff."
You knew he's been spending more and more time with Danneel. Obviously it was getting pretty serious.
"So where's the girlfriend?" You asked, taking a sip of your beer.
He took in a deep breath shrugged his shoulders. "She couldn't make it. She's filming in LA right now."
Jensen may had a buzz, but he was still mesmerized by you. Even though he hasn't seen you in so long, he couldn't help but fluster when he was near you. And seeing you smile the way you did, made his day.
Gen caught your attention as she pulled you over to the girls. "Come on. You have to hear this story." She muttered. "Misha is hilarious."
You followed her, yet your gaze was still on Jensen. His lips slowly curved up as he never looked away.
'This is going to be a long day.' You thought to yourself.
As the night rolled in, and the majority of the people had left, leaving only you, Jensen, Jared, Misha, Gen, and Vicki.
You all sat around the fire, laughing while the boys cracked jokes. Something you have missed.
"Well Misha and I have to be going now. West has a doctors appointment tomorrow morning." Vicki stated.
"Of course! We will walk you out." Both Jared and Gen got up. Misha pulled you in to him, embracing you. You loved his hugs, they were always so tight and warm.
"Goodnight." He whispered.
They walked inside, leaving you and Jensen alone with the fire crackling in front of you.
This would be something you would freak out about, but you had alcohol streaming in your blood, and your mind hazed. It was no bother what so ever.
He kept his gaze on you, focusing.
"What?" You chuckled.
He shook his head. "You're beautiful."
Those words echoed in your head, making your stomach flutter.
"And you're drunk." You cackled.
You got up, and started for the door. Jensen followed closely behind until he reached for your hand, and turned you around.
Your breath hitched to the back of your throat, as he was only inches away from your face.
His eyes looked down at your lips, then back up to your eyes, searching for something within them.
The fire crackled, and you swore you could hear your heart beating, thudding in your ears.
No words were spoken, nothing but gazing into one another.
You wanted nothing more than to kiss him. To taste him again and feel his lips on yours. You were starting to lean towards him until the door crept open, making you both jump and pull away.
"Hey. You two okay?" Jared asked, furrowing his brows.
You both shared a glance. "Yea. We're great" Jensen said.
"Cool. Well Gen and I are going to hit the sack. It's been a long day. You can sleep in the guest house. There's 3 rooms."
"Okay. Thanks Moose. Goodnight." You forced out.
"Night."
He made his way back inside, and you started for the guest house. Not once looking back.
"Y/N." Jensen exclaimed.
As you turned on your heels, Jensen stood behind you, his arms crossed over his chest.
"I just want to say sorry, for you know." He motioned his head to where you were both standing before.
"There's no reason to be sorry. Nothing happened." You reassured him.
"I do. I wasn't there for you. I don't blame you for leaving."
"J, we are too drunk for this conversation. Come on, let's go sleep." You sighed.
"No." His voice was stern, as he inched toward you. "I need to get this off my chest now."
You sighed and dropped your head. "Fine." You whispered. "This isn't your fault J. I didn't leave you because you were gone. I left because I know just how much you want a family. To have kids, and I don't think I can give that to you. The doctor said-"
"Fuck what the doctor said Y/N. I wanted you!" His voice cracked. "Yeah it sucks and I was so upset, but it wasn't because of you losing the baby, it was because you were going through this alone. Y/N, I loved you. And I wanted to spend the rest of my life, with YOU."
Tears started to stream down your cheeks. His words made you wince and feel as if you couldn't breathe from the lump in your throat.
"J, I'm sorry." You cried. Slowly taking steps toward him. His eyes welled with tears.
He met your gaze, making your stomach flutter. Maybe it was the alcohol or holding your feelings in for a while, you felt something ignite in you. Making you feel almost invincible. 
And before you had a moment to think, you closed the distance between the two of you, and crashed your lips to his.
In that moment, he froze. The feeling of you against him had taken him by complete surprise. And with just a second of hesitation, he reciprocated and tangled his fingers into your hair, pulling you in closer.
His lips felt so smooth against yours. Tasting of beer. You missed him so much. Missed kissing him more than anything.
Soft groans escaped you both, as you continued to taste him.
He pulled his lips away, resting his head against yours. "Y/N." He exhaled. "We can't do this."
Those words made you cringe. Creating a chill to ripple down your spine.
Slowly taking a step back, he looked up at you. "I asked Danneel to marry me." He whispered.
Your heart stopped. The world felt as if it had froze.
"She said yes."