Forced to have the Player's Kid (Book One of The Great Age Plague Series)

Chapter Thirty Seven

I answered my phone.

"Keon?" I said.

"Adira! Oh thank goodness.... Look, I'm so sorry about the--"

"Don't Keon. What part of friends don't you understand?" I said. To my surprise, I sounded downright venomous, making Josh give me a confused look. On the other line, I heard Keon gasp softly, but I didn't even feel bad in the slightest.

After everything with my mom, didn't these guys understand that I just needed my space? Looking over at Josh, his eyes trained on the road but hands tight on the steering wheel, I felt all sorts of kinds of bad. To both of them, I was an object, something to be obtained for their own pleasures.

But then a thought hit me-- what had I even given either of them to make them fight for me this hard? Was it just a show of male dominance or something else? If it was the boys being competitive with me and my children as the prize, they sure as heck were not showing it. Even Josh said that he liked Keon (although I wasn't sure how he would feel about the whole kissing thing) and that had to count for something.

"I'm sorry, you're right. I'm just really lonely right now, Adira," said Keon, his voice cracking. I couldn't help but feel my heart ache for him. We were all lonely. Instead of the post-apocalyptic world we all imagined, it wasn't the buildings and the streets that were empty and lifeless-- it was inside of us all. Living in the United States, the government had a good plan-- almost too good-- on how to take care of us after the plague settled, so everything felt eerily normal yet nothing was the same. Our parents were gone and that left a big hole inside of everyone. It was a hole we were attempting to fill now with young families, drugs, and romances that none of us were yet old enough to even understand.

In that moment, though, I understood it a little. Just a little.

"It's okay," I said at last, my hand resting on my belly "How about you come over tonight?"

"Really?" said Keon, his voice alight with surprise. I nodded, but then realized he wasn't there in the car with me, no matter how close I felt to him over the phone.

"Yeah. Let's talk about it like... adults. I mean, as adult as we can be," I said softly. On the other end, I heard a loud exhale-- a whoosh of stress relief.

"Okay. Adults. I can do that," said Keon.

***

"So he kissed you in the middle of the hallway? And I'm suppose to be okay with it? Adira, you do remember we got married, right?" exclaimed Josh as we entered the mansion. I sighed, blowing my bangs up off my forehead.

"First off, I really don't wanna talk about the marriage thing right now. Secondly--"

"Okay, Adira, when are we going to talk about it, huh?" asked Josh. He spun around, his blue eyes meeting mine, and my heart felt all achy all over again. Rejection is suppose to be the thing that breaks your heart, not affection, but I couldn't help but feel sad about all the attention I was getting lately when all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and lick my wounds. Nevertheless, I felt an invisible string pull me closer to Josh, and I took a step foreword.

"Josh, my mom just died and I'm pregnant," I said, looking down. At this, some of the tension in the air rained down, like a cloud releasing a little precipitation , but it wasn't enough to clear the fog.
Josh still stared at me, his mouth in a straight line.

"I know. But it's hard. I don't know where we stand... One moment, I feel like your mine, and the next I don't know who you belong to," said Josh. Suddenly, there was a kick in my stomach, and not the baby-kind either-- it was my mom, up in Heaven, telling me to pull out a little of the fire within me hidden underneath pages of books.

"You know who I belong to Josh? Me," I said, straightening up. Josh's eyes widened "And I don't care what you or anyone else says-- I don't need anyone to take care of me. Not a man. Not my mom, God bless her. And not you. I'm sixteen years old and I'm going to be a mother soon-- and you're going to be a father. You need to stop with the pressuring me thing. That's for high schoolers. It's time to grow up and accept that this is a shitty situation, and we are way too young for any of this." My heart pounded so hard, when I looked down I could see my little heart shaped-necklace bobbing up and down. Did I really just say that? Or the bigger question-- did I really just mean that?

Josh stood there silently for a moment, breathed, and sat down on the couch, his head in his hands.

He was silent for a little while, so long that I considered possibly walking away, but then he ran a hand through his hair and looked up. His gorgeous features still caught me by surprise, but I steadied myself by looking down at my shoes.

"We weren't ever suppose to be together," said Josh. A piercing pain went through my heart, the kind of feeling that makes it the whole term "heartbreak" make sense. It was like my sternum had cracked and shards were getting lodged in the chambers of my heart. Still, I managed to hold it together, telling myself that I was strong enough to wait for bedtime to cry.

At least Josh was being honest.

"But we are together. And you know what? I'm glad. You are a spectacular person, Adira, a person I never would have had the pleasure of meeting had we not been matched," said Josh. I gasped as the little broken pieces playing in my chest jumbled together, with a light shining through reminding me there was hope. Maybe I loved him, maybe I didn't-- but in that moment, he was at least willing to understand me.

Josh walked over, his blue eyes gazing into mine-- a beautiful color that would possibly be the same shade my children looked at me with. Slowly, Josh took my hand, delicately, as if touching a skittish animal in the woods. His warm hand engulfed mine as his eyes took in my features-- not just the delicate pretty ones, I am sure, but also my chapped lips, frizzy hair, and dark under eye circles; yet, his eyes showed affection, care, and a different kind of love with no lust involved.

"Note that I said person, not woman," said Josh with a smirk "And you know what Adira? I think you know what you want. You know you don't want to choose-- meaning you just want us both."

My eyes must have been saucers and my mouth probably hung open, making me look like an imbecile. In that moment, though, I did not care. What the heck was he talking about?

"Josh, I don't want you both. That's stupid! This isn't some crappy teen novel or a TLC show! I'm not allowed to like you both. I just need some time..." I said, pulling my hand from his. He was crazy. Was he even suggesting what I think he was suggesting? What did he take me for, some kind of slut?!

With a side glance filled with spark, Josh shrugged his shoulder in that way only cool-guys do, as if shrugging off the idea and my concern. I stared at him in horror as he casually sauntered away. Casually-- after suggesting that I... I....

"I'm just saying. New world, new rules," and with that, Josh was gone, taking with him an air of superiority.

A/N-- Sooo. I started college. On the agenda this semester 1. Stage manage a show, 2. Run the light board for a different show 3. Act/Sing/Dance for a Mainstage show 4. Act as a leading character in a student film 5. Work on my double major in English and Theatre, taking 17 credit hours annnnnd 6. sleep once every couple of weeks. So yeah, updates are going to be few and far between while I attempt to be a grown up. Keep sending me feedback though, you all rock my penguin socks.

P.S. For your viewing pleasure, I'm going to post a picture of my face. Sorry if I'm gross lol.