Phan Oneshots (a collection of short stories)

Waiting For You

Waiting for You (November 4 2015)

Summary: Dan befriends someone he met in an online dating service.

Word Count: 10366 - once again, my longest oneshot I've ever attempted

Warning: Depression, Drugs, alcohol, suicidal thoughts, language

A/N: This is in reference to a song I wrote called 'Online Friend' (will be on YouTube soon - #spon) and is inspired by the song 'Undisclosed Desires' by Muse and 'DKLA' by Troye Sivan. Second, this will be the longest oneshot I've ever wrote in my life (how bored am I?). Also inspired by 'Talking to the Moon' by adorableHowell (thank you Eden for sharing that fic).

Note: Please DO NOT imitate the stuff mentioned here as it's bad for your health. If you are feeling depressed or suicidal, talk to someone (even a few people in Tumblr can help you).

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Today was like the usual Saturday.

Wake up, take a shower, eat breakfast, watch TV, go online and etc. I've been doing this for 6 years after my parents kicked me out to go to university or live my life as an adult, but to be honest, I think it's so they can have the house for themselves. So today, I've decided to do something different. I've decided to take some exercise as I have nothing else to do this day. So I wore the darkest outfit that I can find, put on the sneakers that I got as a gift a year ago and went out. The sun was shining in London as I made my way to Hyde Park.

Hyde Park was being it's usual self, old people doing yoga, kids and families having a nice day out, joggers running and you know the rest. I guess everyone have their lives fixed for them while for me, I just make videos about my life. It's not that I hate it but it's sometimes lonely to talk to your camera once a week, pretending that you are having a conversation with an actual human being knowing they love you for your online persona rather than your real persona. All I want is a friend, someone who is willing to know me for who I am, not how I project myself to be. I want to find someone who accept my quirks and my personalities and won't judge if I talk to my camera every now and then to make ends meet.

I want someone like me to like me.

As I jog around Hyde park, looking at all the couples being all 'lovey-dovey' towards each other, giving each other flowers and shit. Even if I hate it, it's something I yearn in my life. Sure I used to have a girlfriend but she and I broke up due to a clash of interest. She still didn't get why I make videos and that I was 'too weird' for her. Total bullshit. Either way, I do miss the feeling when you hold someone's hand and have the same affections towards each other. Most of my game nights are just me yelling at 8 year old's in Halo.

After 30 minutes of jogging, I've decided to sit on a bench but minutes later, a couple came and sat at the empty spot beside me. I got out my phone so it looks like I was busy and so that they won't interact with me. But it didn't stop me from hearing what they are saying. They were acting all sweet towards each other that eventually, the proposes to the girl and she says yes. I took a short glimpse on the proposal and just rolled my eyes. Soon, the guy asked me to take a photo and I said yes just so I look like a nice person. I took one good shot and gave back his phone and walked away.

I went to the bridge and just looked at the sunset as the day was about to end. I got out a photo of me and my ex girlfriend as it was the only reminder that I have felt love in my life. But as shit my life is so far, the wind decided to blow away the photo I only have and it landed to the water where it sank and can no longer be retrieved. I closed my eyes and smiled for a bit as probably now is a good time to move on from the past, even if its the only thing that can remind me that I was once happy.