All I Need (A Flashpoint Fanfic)

Boredom Bookshelves and Family Dinners

Chapter 8

I woke up at stupid o' clock in the morning. Just as I had predicted I had a dream about the shot. As usual with any of my nightmares it kept going on a continuous loop. I'd walk in the door, shoot the guy, go to walk out and end up walking right back into the room to do it all again. When sunlight started coming in my windows I gave up and got out of bed.

After completing the usual morning shower, eat, and dog care I had nothing to do. I sat on the couch and flipped on the TV with every intention of catching up with everything on my DVR. I had left it on a news channel last and the first thing I saw when the picture came on was a story about what went down at the high school. I switched the TV off and perused my bookshelf. Nothing called out to me. I went to my room and looked in the box of books that I didn't have room for on my bookshelf. Still nothing.

Even on days when I have no messy feelings to deal with I don't do well with boredom. I need to have something to do or I'll start going nuts. And that is way half an hour after the fruitless book search I was dragging the box for the bigger bookshelf I went out to buy up the stairs to my second-floor apartment. Nothing soothes the soul like mindlessly following the instructions and putting something together.

I hooked my phone up to my speakers and put Thnks Fr Th Mmrs by Fall Out Boy on repeat. My go to bad mood song. No real idea why. Maybe the high volume makes it easier to block out what I'm trying not to think about. Fall Out Boy is one of the few exceptions to my country only music appreciation.

I was struggling to keep one of the sides attached to the back while at the same time putting the screw in so I could screw them together when Fall Out Boy was cut off by the sound of the Tran Siberian Orchestra's version of Carol of the Bells. I let the pieces fall and answered the phone. "Yeah?"

"How are you doing sis?"

"Bored out of my mind and running on fourish hours of sleep. Shouldn't you be working Eddie?"

"No calls yet. We all wanted to put off monthly cleanup to check up on you. By the way you're on speaker."

There was a chorus of "Hi"s from the rest of the team.

"Thanks guys. I'm holding up just fine. I've decided to swear off TV for the rest of the week and now I have so much time to get stuff around here done."

"You have no idea what do do with yourself, do you?" Eddie asked.

"Not a clue."

"What's you spontaneous project of the day?"

"I bought a bigger bookshelf. The thing is it seems to be much happier sitting half built on my floor."

They all got a good chuckle out of that.

"If you guys are quite finished with being amused by my domestic struggles, I need to finish assembling this thing. Bye."

I hung up and sat back on the floor next to Dex. "I'm thinking pizza for lunch and then we finish this thing. What about you?"

His ears perked at the hint of food.

"Of course you would agree with that." I said dialing the number.

I was halfway through a gallon of Fudge Brownie ice cream and admiring the newly built bookshelf when Eddie called again. "You're coming to our house for dinner tonight. This is not negotiable."

"Hmm. Sit at home and eat takeout, or Sophie's cooking? It doesn't need to be negotiable, I'll do it."

"Great. See you at six?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Six rolled around I was knocked on the door to Eddie's once before opening it and walking in. "Alright, hands up, this is a raid!"

Clark ran into the entryway. "Aunt Jess!"

I braced myself as he tackled me with a hug. "Hey bud. How's school."

"School's school."

"Spoken like a true Lane boy."

"Hey, be nice." Eddie said walking in the door.

"Eddie, it's my job to not be nice to you. Now when is food?"

"Give it another fifteen minutes Jess, I always count on Ed being late." Sophie said giving me a hug.

"Well then I'll start with something carbonated and caffeinated."

The lasagna was amazing and the apple pie was the single most beautiful thing I had ever eaten. The whole meal was full of catching up, but Sophie and Ed carefully kept away from the subject of the SRU. Circumstances might make it seem like concern over how yesterday went, but they always do this. Ed is really committed to the job, and it erodes his relationship with Sophie. For a couple months now I've been bracing myself for a divorce announcement.

After dinner Clark was shooed away to go do his homework, and Eddie told Sophie to take easy and the two of us will do the dishes.

"How are you really doing Jess?"

"Eddie, I'm fine. I'm not a fragile rookie who's just been shocked with the realities of the job. I've known for a while that being a cop involves making hard decisions. It hurts, but I'll get over it."

"Jess you and I are very similar. I know you will never get over it. You'll just find a way to push it off. And someday all the things you keep pushing off will hit you at once."

"You're right we are very similar Eddie. And this is most definitely the pot calling the kettle black. You do the exact same thing."

"So maybe I'm a hypocrite because I don't want my little sister to follow the same path I going down and ending up as emotionally screwed up as I'm going to be. I can deal with that.

I handed him the last dish. "I'll be fine Eddie. Just let me do what I do."