"Essay On Charm" (roballen2)

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  • Dedicated to Rick Allen
                                    

"Essay On Charm"  (roballen2)

What Exactly is charm?

What does it take, or mean to be, "A Charming Man"?

The average American man doesn't have charm. They don't have it because they don't know what it is. 

Charm= Charm demands detachment and engagement simultaneously. A lightness of touch regarding all aspects of social relations. 

    The ability to think like a woman. Perceiving women as sexually attractive and also an idiosyncratic personality. The ability to easily make women feel 

regal and hilarious.  (this only requires listening) A sense of irony. A rare rapport with, and an understanding of women.  

The ability to indulge in shared confidences and non sexual flirtations that ease conversations.

To have moral and physical courage. Having a sense of the absurd. Offhand wit, playful knowing, simultaneously cool and warm.

    Draw out the overlooked. Shift the spotlight to others.

Considerateness, Politeness- civil.

...and knowing how, when, (etc.) and on whom to exploit ant degree of charm.

Now you have it defined.

   The undeveloped personality Can Not have Charm.

    It is strange to most men because males these days are child/men. Men are more often then not self absorbed, mono focused, guarded, distracted, and disengaged 

to an almost aspergerian level.

    I hear tell,  in the olden days the phrase, "a charming man" was often code for a gay man.

Is it a suspicion that no man that charming could be heterosexual?

Even men that recognize charm don't appreciate it. They find it difficult to really like a man they can't trust with their wife.

Why aren't more men concerned with being charming?

    Well... American culture celebrates youth. The young can be charming, but they can not have charm. This is a quality reserved for adults.

Only a person that is self aware can have charm.  Charm with all it's appeal is NOT a moral virtue, it's an amoral one. There is a very fine line between charmer and sociopath.

"Real Charm" is an oxymoron.  All charm is ultimately superficial.  It's about self presentation, which is to say it is inherently manipulative. Charmers know this. They are more then conscious of themselves and the effect(s) they have on others.

So...

As charming as charm might be,

Don't be charmed by it.

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