Diva Boo | VerKwan

VI - "You're not worth it"

   It had been a month since Hansol's crush blossomed. By then, Hansol even claimed to be in love with Seungkwan. It was hard for him yet he couldn't help but want to be by the diva's side.  He always tried to resist the dramatic boy, but it seemed like his urges to see him were too strong. And with time, they became pretty close. To the point were Seungkwan told him things very easily, or demanded things from Hansol easily as well. So when Seungkwan fell sick, it was only natural to ask Hansol to take care of him.

   So there Hansol was, standing in front of Seungkwan's door, debating wether he should knock and ask to come in or just ring the doorbell and wait. Just as he was about to press the bell, a person -more specifically a female- opened the door. She was quite shcocked to see him too. "Seungkwan? Did you invite somebody?" Hansol heard some muffled response but couldn't really make out what Seungkwan must have said. He just assumed Seungkwan said yes.

   The girl smiled at Hansol, and just urged him to come in. "Wow! This is the first time Seungkwan has invited someone to our home. You must be precious to him," the girl went on, examining Hansol's features. "Thank you, noona." She only nodded, then looked around as if to check if Seungkwan was around.

   "Thanks for being Seungkwan's friend. We moved here just this year, and I thought it'd be hard for him. But if you stick around, even one friend can make Seungkwan feel no so lonely." Hansol made an 'O' shape with his mouth. He didn't know Seungkwan was a new kid. Sure, he doesn't remember seeing him around but the answer was simple to that. He just assumed Seungkwan was from a different middle school. He didn't know Seungkwan was just new in general. Well, he sure didn't act like it, Hansol thought.

"No problem, Seungkwan is a pleasure to be around." Hansol held onto his bag tightly. It was filled with things he brought Seungkwan. "Well, I guess you can go up now. See you around." Hansol waved by to his new noona and walked up the stairs to Seungkwan's room.

He knocked on Seungkwan's door, to which Seungkwan replied with a cough and a messed up "come in." Seungkwan was laying in bed, wrapped around in two blankets. He was pale, and it was noticeable due to his tan skin. Oddly enough, he looked skinnier. Even if he had been sick for just a couple of days. "Are you sure you're alright?" Hansol asked Seungkwan, and all he could do was nod. "Yeah, it's just a," he coughed, "cold." Hansol only nodded, still thinking it was a bit more than that.

'Just like your feelings for him are a bit more than that.' Hansol wanted to smack himself for thinking what he had just thought. "Damn it," Hansol whispered in English. "What happened? Something went wrong?" Hansol's attention immediately went to Seungkwan, surprised the boy didn't cough. But his voice was a bit . . . rough.

   "Seungkwan, here. I brought you some things," the sick boy soon began looking through his bag, taking out things like; ice cream, pain killers, a box of tea, and tissues. "What are you? My mom?" Hansol laughed, shacking his head. "Well thanks for coming anyway," Seungkwan offered his best smile, but he still seemed too weak to do so.

"Seungkwan I didn't know you weren't from Seoul." The way those words made Seungkwan sit up straight and made the atmosphere change to and uncomfortable one, made Hansol begin to regret even saying them. "Who told you?" Hansol opened his mouth to answer, but he didn't know the girl's name. All he knew was that she looked too young to be Seungkwan's mother.

Hansol scratched his head, in attempt to come up with an answer. He couldn't come up with anything so he just said what came to mind. "The noona downstairs." Just with that answer, Seungkwan no longer looked pale but red. He was fuming because of how pissed off he felt. "Damn it noona! It's cause she's the oldest that she gets away with things like this!" Hansol wanted to laugh, he truly did. Of course, he couldn't do so in front of Seungkwan, so he just tried his best to hold it in.

"Well, I can't really lie now that you know, now can I? I'm just worried about all of the weird things she must have said, aish." Seungkwan scratched his back quickly and sighed. He didn't exactly want to talk about it. "Well, I'm from jeju island. I moved here this school year, under my mom's command. That's it, really." Hansol had a small feeling there was more to it, but he didn't comment on it.

   "How come you didn't want anyone to know?" Hansol questioned, tilting his head in curiosity. Seungkwan looked around, like his sister did earlier, as if to check for witnesses. He signaled for Hansol to come closer. So Hansol obeyed. Hansol was no longer standing, but sitting on the edge of Seungkwan's bed, yet close enough to hear a whisper.

   "I didn't think I'd fit in, honestly." Seungkwan admitted. Hansol could tell the boy was being honest, because the usual playfulness look in his eyes was not there. Hansol only nodded, wanting to reach out for Seungkwan and tell him that he'd fit in wherever he went! In all honesty, Seungkwan seemed so sad to admit so. He had self-doubt in himself, zero confidence he'd make any friends, and when he first arrived, he could bet money that he wasn't going to be no where nearly as popular as he used to be. Sure, Seungkwan was happy that now he was able to admit that he was completely wrong. He has lots of friends, and he's way more popular than he used to be, now Seungkwan never really doubts himself. Admitting such a dark thing to Hansol -in whom he seems to trust a bit too much- was a first for Seungkwan. He wouldn't even tell his mom this.

   Hansol wanted to embrace Seungkwan, since he looked so . . . bummed out. Hansol was guessing that what Seungkwan had just said must have been a big deal, since the diva seemed to be acting like it. Oddly enough, Hansol also wanted to kiss Seungkwan. To show him that he matters. That wherever he went he would always fit in because he was Seungkwan, he had to.

   Without thinking, Hansol tilted Seungkwan's head to face him. He cupped Seungkwan's cheeks and leaned in. Seungkwan was too shocked to move. Hansol kept going until finally, their lips met. At first, Hansol was moving his lips by himself, pressing his lips harder to try to get Seungkwan to react. Until finally, Seungkwan did. Seungkwan would be lying if he said Hansol wasn't a great kisser. They had just started and Seungkwan was already moaning a little, and their kissing was surprisingly in sync.

   Of course, that was until Seungkwan came to his senses. Seungkwan pushed Hansol off, a shocked expression on his face. "What the heck Hansol?! What if my sister walked in? You're not worth it, you know? You're not worth getting kicked out of my home for!" Seungkwan wanted to say crueler things, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. Especially since he didn't actually hate it, and he didn't exactly care what his sister had to say about his love/sex life.

   "I should get going. I'm very sorry, goodbye." Hansol waved by to the sick boy, and with his empty bag, he left the house. Seungkwan awkwardly looked down, staring at his very own boner. "God damn it Hansol!"

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(Back to when Seungkwan said Hansol was not worth getting kicked out for, he refers to how people aren't very open about gays in Korea, and amongst those people is his family. As if to say if his family found out, they'd kick him out. So that's what he meant. Just wanted to clarify.)

Edited October 25th, 2016