Chapter 19 - Em

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Nick stays silent for a second too long. And I step aside, away from his arms. I can't deal with someone else telling me what's good for me, what I should do, what I need, what I want. I know what I want.

He gently tugs me back to him, until our bodies press against one another again.

"You deserve everything," Nick says.

I tilt my head to look into his eyes. "I know what I want. And I want you. You're the only one who doesn't bullshit me." I pause. "You could say no, you could tell me that you want a real relationship, but it's not true. You could say no, because you think you might hurt me, but let me make that decision. Don't make it for me. Because, I'm already hurting." My anger fades away and there's only raw pain in my voice. "You're the only one who helps me, who's standing by my side even when I screw up." I pause and take a deep breath. "And you're right, we can't date. Not really. I mean, we can't be together while we're at school."

He raises an eyebrow like I'm full of shit, but he's right. My fairy-tale romance is too good to be true, and I'll get what I can—but under my own rules. I continue. "It's going to be too complicated, too many expectations, and then what happens if we don't work? Then what? We pass each other in the hallways, I see you with your flavor of the hour, with your arabesque of the minute, and I say nothing? At least, with an expiration date, we both know what we're getting into."

"My arabesque of the minute?" he kisses my neck and my body tingles. "I'm not that bad."

"Who are you kidding? You've dated half of Manhattan."

His shoulders slump. "I haven't. I don't think I have."

"You never lie. You never make false promises. The majority of girls think they can change you. The majority of girls believe that they're the one you're going to change your ways for." And as the words cross my well-kissed lips, my heart tightens into a knot that's every sailor's dream. Is this what I want? Is it what I hope will happen? I shake my head. I only want to feel his lips on mine again, his body pressing against mine.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asks again. His fingers caress my cheek slowly, like he wants to memorize it in case I disappear in a pirouette.

"I am," I reply, thinking I'm strong enough to handle this. I'm strong enough to end this when needed. I'm not going to cling to him. I'm not going to ask him to stay with me when the summer draws to a close. Even if it breaks my heart.

Author's note:

Thank you so much for reading! I hope you're enjoying getting to know Em & Nick! I'll be publishing two new chapters every Friday and would love to hear from you, so don't hesitate to leave a comment. The full novella is already published/available on all e-retailers for only $0.99 in case you don't want to wait for the next chapter :) More information on www.elodienowodazkij.com :)

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