Never Worry About Me

Chapter 10: Do I Dare?

Katherine's P.O.V.

"Do I dare disturb the universe?" I thought to myself.

When Prufrock had asked that question, was he as lost as I was?

One minute was all that was needed to change everything. Decisions and revisions held a hefty baggage on me, for whichever path I decided to take, time could be distorted and backed up. Perhaps... it could have been reversed?

I looked up into the vast sky before taking out the sandwich I had prepared prior to coming here. I was in my favorite spot again- the grassy hill that stood above everything. Well, not everything. It barely was high enough to hover over the city, but in my world, that city was everything.

It must be nice to be one of them.

All of the city folks had relatively average lives. Sure, they had problems and situations that they had to deal with in their own lives, but they had it easy. All they had to do was breathe. That was all that was expected of them.

After a couple of minutes, I finished the sandwich, before letting my fingers wander through the softness of the grass.

I then began thinking about Angelica, and how I had rejected her. When I told her that I thought it would be best for us to just be friends, I saw the hurt in her eyes, and it pained me to see her in pain. But, more so, it pained me knowing that I was the one who had caused that in her.

When I had said those words, I felt my whole body cringe, and my mind screamed that I had made a big mistake. In all honesty, she made me feel like I had a reason here on Earth. But, I knew my time here was not going to last for much longer. In fact, time was running out. Things were finally coming into place. She was slowly getting the life she deserved, which meant I was going to have to vanish soon.

And so, as you could imagine, saying goodbye to her would hurt us more if we were more than friends...

I just didn't want to live in agony for the rest of my existence.

So... how should I presume?

***

I came home to grade the papers from a quiz we had a few days ago. Everyone did fairly well, but, as always, Angelica never failed to bring more to the table. Her strong use of vocabulary, and her diverse style of writing, use of description, and other advanced literary devices wowed me every time. The quiz she took couldn't even compare to the amount of knowledge that occupied her mind.

I leaned back on the couch and took a breath, as I decided it was time for a break.

Staring at the ceiling, all that filled my mind were memories and thoughts of Angelica.

"Aha." I chuckled a bit as I grabbed her hand and placed the paper between her fingers.

The class stared at us, and I could see the look in her eyes. It was filled with both anxiousness and embarrassment. She did not want to drop it again.

It was in that moment that she really got to notice me, and it was also in that moment that I got to see the side of her that was anxious around me. I thought it was cute.

I sat up on the couch and gently separated the graded and non-graded papers before placing them back in my case. I then opened the drawer that contained all of the movies I owned.

My eyes widened as they glanced upon a familiar one.

"How are you liking the movie?"

I shook my head as I pulled my hand away from The Princess Bride, though my mind continued to remind me of the memory.

"The movie is really pointing out the impossible... love prevails and conquers anything, but in real life, that is just a delusion..."

"I completely disagree." I spoke out loud, as if Angelica were in the room with me and could return my gaze, though she was obviously not here.

Realizing that, I shook my head in astonishment and decided that walking outside would clear my thoughts and allow me to stay in the now.

***

I sighed as I walked on the sidewalk in the middle of the night. It had to have been past nine, and the sky was filled with darkness. And, for some reason, tonight was the night everyone wanted to be out. Many were doing the same thing I was- walking. And maybe, they needed to clear their minds also.

It was starting to get a little chilly, and so I stuck my hands in my pockets before I felt something hard blocking one of my hands. I slipped the object out, and my eyes widened at the sight.

"I thought I left you at home," I mumbled as I glanced at my phone.

A smile quickly appeared on my face as a very familiar voice whispered in my ear.

"Let's take a picture together." The voice then said, "I never want to forget this moment."

"Are you sure that you won't forget?" I challenged. I then chuckled as I spoke again. "I don't believe you."

The voice suddenly became quiet, so I had figured it had vanished into the air. Too bad. It was nice having the company.

And, to my surprise, the voice spoke once more.

"Don't forget to smile," it reminded me.

I smiled in response. Mostly because I liked having the company again.

A neighbor eyed me and shook his head slowly, in disapproval. He must have thought I was crazy. I mean, I guess I was. I was walking in the pitch darkness and imagining a conversation. Even I would have smirked if I had seen myself in this moment.

I continued to walk, however, ignoring the stranger.

After about an hour had passed, I began to feel a bit weary. I then had this pounding in my mind, followed by the aching in my chest. My heart ached uncontrollably. At first, I thought it was due to all of the walking that I did, but I didn't walk for that long.

Just when I thought I had lost the voice that roamed through my head, it showed itself once again.

"Help me understand." It whined.

I held my head in my hands, and moaned softly as I tried to shake the feeling and the voice away.

"Be my teacher..." Those words sent shivers down my spine.

"Be... your... teacher." I restated to myself.

I pressed a hand on my chest as I realized who the voice had belonged to.

"I-I am trying, but I don't know how." I spoke, in defeat, knowing it was Angelica's voice I was responding to.

"You can't help me." The voice changed its mind.

The whisper then became louder and more audible.

"You aren't with me all of the time... you aren't with me when I'm at home."

The aching in my heart made itself more clear, and in that moment, a light bulb became lit inside of my head. Of course. Angelica needed my help. I must go to her now. I can't believe I had spaced myself from her this much.

I was Angelica's guardian angel, yet I had foolishly left her alone for a while.

"But... I can change that," I murmured to myself.

I began running down the narrow path, not paying any attention to the cold stares and the curious whispers that followed behind me. I had only one focus, and that was getting to Angelica and making sure she was safe.

That was one of my decisions, which had affected the realm that was ruled by time...

For Angelica's sake, I dared to disturb the universe; I dared to break the sequence, in hopes that there would be change- in hopes that our fates would change for the better.