The Unsolvable Equation

Twenty-six

“Great, you’re finally home!”

Alexia closed the front door behind her and glanced up to see her mother breathe a sigh of relief. “Hurry up and change out, no wait, actually you’re fine wearing this. Let’s go, we’ve got dinner plans.”

This was new. Her family rarely had dinner plans, and Alexia guessed it was mostly because they couldn’t stand being around in each other’s presence for that long. “Where are we going?”

Her mother grabbed her bag and keys from the counter and called for Ryan to come down. “It’s a surprise,” she said, winking, and Alexia had a queasy feeling about this. Her mother wasn’t the sort who favoured surprises, and the prospect of her planning one actually scared her slightly. “But I’m sure you’ll be thrilled by it,” she added, flashing Alexia a smile that did little to calm her fears.

They headed out the door and piled into her father’s car, which smelt of paper, bad air conditioning, and people that did not belong to their family. “Buckle up, kids,” her father joked, in an attempt to revisit the good old days when they were little and ignorant, and attempt Alexia found dripping with cruel irony.

Before long, they pulled up in front of a steakhouse that Alexia remembered from seeing in the news a few days ago, famous for their huge slabs of meat that looked thick enough to feed a small country. Alexia wondered if she should remind her parents that she wasn’t much of a steak person, especially the types that would amount to all the calories she consumed for the rest of the year. Then she saw the happy faces of her parents and the lack of significant distance between them, and she decided to let this one go. Maybe I’ll just get something else.

“Wow! Mildred! Fancy seeing you here!”

Alexia turned around, dread filling her entire being, praying that the person she had identified the voice with wasn’t standing right there, less than ten meters away. No, no no! Lord, please no!

But she wasn’t about to find a friend in fate any time soon, and Alexia found herself staring straight at her greatest nightmare. Caden was standing there with his family. Caden, less than ten meters away. Caden, right in full view of her. Caden, trapping her in a situation that she had little chance of escaping, a situation that demanded interaction, and the friendly, forced, horrible, torturous type, no less.Shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.

After exhausting her entire vocabulary of expletives in her mind, Alexia forced herself to catch up with the rest of her family, who were exchanging greetings and making plans to get dinner together, marvelling this ‘wonderful’ coincidence. “Oh what a wonderful, surprise!” her mother exclaimed; Alexia suspected that she was secretly glad that she wouldn’t have to spend the entire dinner pretending that she would rather be anywhere other than in the presence of her own husband. Then, much to Alexia’s chargin, added, “I’m sure we would all like that! Especially Alexia.” She turned around to offer her daughter a smile radiating excitement that she probably thought would be shared, but Alexia couldn’t even muster up anything other than her shocked expression.

“That’s fantastic! Let’s go in,” Mrs Gordon’s delighted reply only pushed her further beneath the surface into the rising tide of guilt, regret and dread.

She couldn’t even bear to look at Caden, out of fear that he might even show hints of excitement at this chance to talk to her, and she decided to pull out the coward cloak again and dash inside before he had a chance to greet her. Please don’t see me, please don’t be nice to me. I’m a horrible person. Hate me or shout at me, at least, but please please please don’t be the bigger person, Alexia willed in her mind.

They were led to a huge round table, and Alexia immediately sat down at the seat farthest away for Caden’s family, and prayed that Caden would sit far out of sight. No such luck however, and he ended up taking the seat right across the table from her, so whenever she looked up, she would be reminded of her incompetence as a friend. The Gordons also apparently had been to this place before, because the moment they sat down, Mrs Gordon called a waiter over and started rambling out the orders of her family without them saying anything. Then, Alexia’s parents and brother gave their orders and all eyes fell on her. Alexia squirmed uncomfortably under her short moment in the spotlight, as if they could all read her thoughts. Don’t be stupid. You’re overreacting, again.