The Unsolvable Equation

Thirty-seven

“So,” Almier said on the phone later that afternoon, three days after they had touched down. “Guess what happened?”

“What?” Alexia was not interested in playing his game.

“I applied for a place in the University of Notre Dame before the trip and my letter came today to say I got accepted!”

Alexia was stunned. Almier hadn’t told her that he had been apply to any university already. They hadn’t even finished high school, why was he leaving so soon? “B-but,” she stammered. “We haven’t graduated yet! Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

“Because I didn’t want to spread the news until it was confirmed. I’m going there to study romantic languages, anyway, which beats staying in this school any day!” he gushed enthusiastically.

“Oh,”  was all Alexia could say. “Well aren’t you going to miss this school? The people here?”

“I guess change is inevitable in life, and this is a change for the better, anyway,” Almier’s voice sounded a little too nonchalant for comfort.

“But aren’t you going to miss me?” Alexia blurted out. After all I’ve given up for you.

“I guess so,” Almier’s unconvincing, unfelt parting words were followed by a painful silence. “But life existed before me, and life will exist after me.”

“I have to go,” Alexia said flatly, unwilling to entertain anymore of his heartless goodbye.

“Goodbye Alexia, I’ll see you at the airport, then!” was the excited goodbye.

Alexia slammed down the phone in disgust. Almier was too excited, too caught up with the prospect of going to university early that all his friendships, relationships and emotions had vanished. What an unfeeling little piece of shit, I’m better off without him, anyway.

“Alexia can I talk to you?”

Alexia whirled around to find Caden standing in her doorway, his eyes all but avoiding her gaze. She felt her stomach do a backflip and swallowed hard. A little talk, can’t hurt, right? “Um, sure,” Alexia hesitantly agreed, shuffling towards where he was standing. “What’s up.”

Caden led her outside and shut the door behind them. For some reason, this made Alexia extremely uncomfortable and she felt her body tense up even more. For God’s sake, Alexia. He’s not going to murder you in broad daylight, get a grip! She stood with her hands bound tightly around each other, waiting for him to say something and lift the blanket of tension between them. Yell at me, scream at me, anything! Just don’t call me out and leave me hanging like this, she willed in her mind.

“Okay so I’m going to be frank and straight to the point,” Caden said with a sudden determination.

“Shoot.”

“What’s with the cold shoulder you’ve been giving me? Did I do something that I am unaware of? And don’t try to brush this off and say it didn’t happen, because I might not be as smart as you or Almier, Alexia, but my observation skills certainly aren’t rusty,” Caden blurted out, his face flushed, his eyes burning with the fire held back for too long.

Alexia stood rooted to the ground, at a loss for words. All the event of the past week had been flushed out of her memory and her mind felt disoriented, like one big mess. All the problems that she had pushed to the back of her mind were now emerging, coming back to haunt her, laughing that she thought that she could get away from them so easily. What could she possibly say to Caden that would justify the asshole that she had become over the past few weeks? How could she possibly explain that she wished that he would have just moved on, that she had been planning ahead, that she was stupid and naive enough to believe that such a spontaneous, subjective thing such as love could be measured by the cold hard logic of reasoning?