Call Me Ella (ft. Niall Horan)

Chapter 19 - Imminent Breakup

Chapter 19 - Imminent Breakup

Charlie was right, I end up coming to the Stables, especially because I haven’t seen Niall in the whole day, even after I talked to Cami and we switched floors again. I think I can manage it now, if I ran into one of them —meaning Harry or Niall because the other three members smile politely at me and just carry on, if I ever see them— I can survive. Harry would say some lame pun of Harry Potter and I’m getting used to talk to Niall already. Maybe running into him whilst cleaning will remind me that in fact he is a guest in this centre. But I didn’t see any of the boybanders today so I come to the stable, not sure of what I’m expecting. I keep Charlie’s words in my head, telling me that pushing Niall into fixing his broken relationship is unfair for Zoe.

I did my part already, I tried to mend this situation and I have nothing else to do. Whether they fix it or not, it’s not my business anymore. I won’t insist him to try harder because if he doesn’t want to, I’m no one to force him.

Today while I was cleaning toilets I was thinking, trying to understand the real motive behind my determination into making Niall and Zoe get back together. I came up with two theories.

One. I do feel guilty for what happened, for kissing him even when I knew he had a girlfriend. What happened was as his fault as it was mine, but I can only answer for my actions, hence why I wanted to fix his relationship, as if that could erase what I did.

Two. If Niall is in a relationship I can’t have any sort of feelings for him because no matter what, I would never steal a boyfriend. It would be completely out of question and I would be safe from feeling attracted to a guest. So if he’s in a relationship, I’m safe. I can tell myself ‘it’s impossible’ and carry on; however if he’s single, a part of me will tell me ‘there’s a chance’ and I don’t want that little voice in my head.

I’m still not sure which theory is the correct one, probably a combination of both, but still. Both are very selfish and I feel kind of ashamed that I’m only thinking of myself. That’s why, for Zoe, for that girl who still hopes things can get better with Niall, for that girl who’s really trying to save her relationship… I won’t mind her business anymore.

“You came,” a voice says when I actually walk into the stable and snap back to reality.

I see Niall next to Persephone, brushing her hair as the horse seems extremely pleased. She snorts to greet me, louder than the other horses, even louder than Ares. I caress the black horse before approaching Niall, who’s smiling brightly at me.

“For a moment I thought you weren’t gonna show up,” he confesses, shyness in his voice and eyes.

Instead of telling him that I actually thought of not coming because it seems like things are getting complicated, I say, “I had things to take care of first.”

He nods and focuses on Persephone again, keeping the brushing on as I stay there, staring for a while. He is hot, I think the whole female population can agree on that, but he also has this adorable thing about him and when he’s looking at the horse, brushing the chestnut hair, he looks so calm that it makes him look a different kind of handsome.

A guy like him does belong with a gorgeous girl like Zoe, with a model. They actually look great together, whereas Niall and I don’t match together. I don’t have style, I’m simple. Yes, I like clothes but I keep it simple because well, I don’t see the point of looking nice when I’m cleaning toilets. He on the other hand, wears expensive brands and probably buys whatever thing he wants. I bet he even goes to fashion shows as a guest. I’m someone who only wants to be free and help others, he’s a worldwide popstar. The most natural thing is that he is with someone like Zoe, hopefully her. Nevertheless, a part of me hopes that he won’t care about the differences, that I won’t care and that we can actually, I don’t know, maybe, get together.