Hope. **EDITING**

Chapter 4

*2 weeks later*

"Harry I don't want to do this i'm scared."  I cry as I look down the gigantic cliff, as I tlook over I feel nauseous, as if I might throw up at any given second.

"It's okay, I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise." Harry promises and leaves me wondering whether he's being sincere it if that's an empty promise. I hope for the first, but choose not to forget the second.

"Promise?" I plead while looking into his eyes for even the slightest sign of sincerity.

"I promise." He smiles back at me. Harry reaches for my hand and gives it a slight reassuring squeeze.

It's now been a month and a half since I started living with Harry, two weeks officially, and surprisingly I'm opening up to him a little easier. Unlike a lot of people I have met, Harty is patient and kind with me, even just the little things, when I'm feeling sad it's likeliest and he just automatically feels the need to make me a peppermint tea and just sit with me. Of course I still haven't even so much as mentioned my big secret, I don't think I'm ready and honestly, I don't know if I ever will be ready. But at for the time being anyway, I think that's okay.

I've noticed Harry tends to like to do things with me or crack corny jokes when we he notices that I'm feeling down, and apparently, cliff jumping is one of those things because at this current moment that's what we're currently attempting do.

I take a deep breath and then look up at Harry with a nod. "Okay, I think I'm ready."

He looks at me for reassurance and when I nod and squeeze his hand he smiles at me.

"On three then okay," he instructs, "one"

I take a deep breath and exhale.

"Two."

I look at Harry whose looking at me.

"Three!"

I take a deep breath as we both make a slight running start and jump off the cliff, my hair whips around in the fast wind and I get this huge feeling of energy and excitement that pushes any fear I had out of the way for the time being.

We both land in the water with a big splash and I break out in a huge grin and laugh. And I laugh. I laugh until no noise is coming out and I have tears in my eyes, but for once, they're are tears of happiness.

When I look up Harry is smiling and laughing as well. He swims over to me and engulfs me in a quick hug.

"What did you think?!?" He asks with a huge grin plastered on his face.

"That was amazing, I don't think I've ever felt so... So..." I struggle at a loss for words, racking my brain for a word to use to describe the feeling of excitement that I felt and still feel.

"Alive?" Harry inquires giving me a knowing look.

"Yeah, alive." I nod.

"That's why I enjoy doing it, it gives me this feeling like I'm still human, like I'm still grounded, you know?" Harry asks while skating out his now soaked curls. 

I nod with a knowing look. I then proceed to swim over to the small grassy shore. I hoist myself up on to the small grassy ledge, almost as soon as I'm out of water the cold England breeze hits me and a few rain droplets begin to fall down from the sky. All of a sudden, as fun as it was, I don't think it was very smart to go cliff jumping on a cold day. I shiver as a cold breeze hits me, whipping my hair in my face. The cold from the wind doesn't necessarily bother me, I think it's almost like Harry with his thing about cliff jumping, it almost makes me feel human and alive, I sometimes have a hard time remembering that I'm only human, I need little reminders like the rain and the cold wind to let me know.