Chapter XLIII: Beautiful Goodbye

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Don't hate me please.

I need to do this.

The song is very much connected to the chapter so listen to it.

Okay, you can read now...

In

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People come and go.

It’s their choice if they let go or stay. But every person who passed by in our lives touched our hearts and leaves a mark on it. May it be a hurtful experience or a memorable one.

They say it’s hard for the person leaving, but it’s always hardest for the one being left behind.

You’ll try to continue your life like nothing had changed. Like nothing is missing. You have to wake up every day with your normal routine and act normally around people even if deep inside you’re asking yourself… when will the person come back.

Some say you’ll get used to it as time passed by.

If you’ll get used to it through time, can we fast forward then so I can’t feel the hurt I’m feeling.

The ambivalent feeling I’m having right now is baffling me more than ever ‘coz now I don’t know if I should regret pushing him to go follow his dream or be happy that he accepted the Scholarship.

But the greater and more rational part of me says that I should be happy because now he can pursue and do the thing that he always love.

Some may say that I’m a big moron for letting the man I love slide away from me but I would question them…

Would you want to be a hindrance to his dream? Would you want to be that one person who will be a barrier to a once in a life time opportunity?

This is his dream and I want him to live it. I want him to not regret not trying to experience a new world. A world that may open more doors for him and may lead him to the success that he deserves.

So even if I’m feeling hurt at the moment, the happiness is more evident because I got the chance to spend time with him and show how I feel before we part.

The day he said the three words I’ve been wanting to hear from him since the day I realized I’m in love with him was the day I will forever cherished.

It was the day that cleared and gave meaning to everything. All my inhibitions, frustrations and confusions flew in an instant. And he cleared every complex action he did through those magical three words…

“I love you Scarlet Rose Brooks. I love you karmiy. I love you. I love you. I love you…” Raf repeated breathlessly against my lips. I didn’t know he was also crying until I gently caressed his cheeks, holding his face and trying to be as close to him as possible ‘coz I want to touch him and make sure that I’m not dreaming.

Like the first time he kissed me, this is too good to be true. And it’s one of my dreams that came true.

Happiness can’t even describe and outweigh how I feel right now. This is like a scene in a cheesy chick flick movie that I’ve been squealing for so many times. And now it’s happening to me.

Please tell me this isn’t a dream.

He pulled me closer to him, enclosing his arms around me, “You don’t know how many times I’ve tried to tell you this” He admitted in his hoarse voice, hiding his face at the side of my neck. He pulled a bit away so he can look at me. “I’m a coward. I should’ve told you this a long time ago but I got scared. I got confused with my own feelings. I easily got angry whenever there were boys around you. I thought it was just a protective instinct for me ‘coz I’m your bestfriend but I didn’t know I was just jealous. I was jealous of Cooper. I was jealous of Rupert and believe it or not, I was jealous of Liam and not the other way around…”

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