pure ; james potter [marauders era]

n i n e t e e n ;

[ January 14th, 1977 ]

Octavia, James, Sirius and Peter all sat around Remus' hospital bed. It was two o'clock in the morning and they were all beyond tired. Normally, Remus would have passed out already. His transformations take so much energy to the point where he just crashes in human form. 

Tonight was a different story. The worry of Severus telling the school body of his condition was his worst fear. No one would look at him the same way. Everyone would make fun of him. He'd be expelled. He'd never get a job. He'd never marry someone he loves and have a beautiful baby boy. 

He had been crying all night.

The guilt was eating at Sirius. It was all his fault. He was angry at Severus and he wanted to finally end the feud between him and the Marauders. He wanted to scare the boy so much to the point where he would never even look at them again.

He told his friends this, and none of them has said a word since. No one had the right to apart from Remus, but everyone could tell he was just trying to gather his words.

It was around two thirty in the morning when Dumbledore walked in. He didn't say anying to any of them except for Remus. "I've had a talk to Severus," Dumbledore said, looking Remus reassuringly in the eyes. "He has promised not to tell anyone about your condition. He fully understands what you have to go through and the consequences of him telling anyone."

He walked away, before turning back, "I hope you recover quickly. Sleep well, Remus."

Remus let out the breath he was holding, his eyes trained on his clasped hands. "I am so, so sorry Remus." He heard his friend say.

"No." Remus spat.

"No?"

"How could you do this? How dare you do this. I trusted you with my secret. I trusted you with my life and you told the one person we despised. Even worse, you put him in harms way!"

"I just wanted to scare hi-" Sirius said, his eyes were wide and desperate. Anyone could see how much he regretted this.

"I COULD HAVE KILLED HIM!" Remus screamed, tears quickly falling down his face. "I could have killed one of you! You were all distracted and one swipe of my hand would have killed you."

Octavia placed her hand on his shoulder comfortingly, but she knew it wouldn't make much of a difference. She could feel his sobs shake his body. "Leave."

Sirius' jaw dropped. "Please, I'm sorry!"

"Get out!"

Sirius' head fell as he walked out of the room in silence. Octavia didn't know how to feel. She was incredibly pissed at Sirius and how he didn't think of the consequences. But at the same time she hated exiling him... they were the Marauders, after all!

She wanted to run over and tell him everything okay, but she wanted to slap him and tell him how stupid he was. She bit her lip and contained herself, looking back to Moony. He was so shattered. Octavia knew he couldn't never fully love himself because of his condition, and killing someone would have made it worse.

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It was around lunch time and Sirius was sitting by himself in the corridor. He had been ignored all day, and he knew he deserved it. He was angry though. He just wanted this situation to be forgiven and forgotten. He needed his friends back before he went crazy.

Two giggling voices walked passed him, and he was surprised when he saw his little brother walking with Octavia. He didn't care that they were hanging out the other day, but with the events that had just taken place Sirius couldn't help but feel hurt and betrayed.

"Tavia!" Sirius called back, not thinking his actions through once again. Tavia and Regulus turned around, their faces instantly paling. "What are you doing with Regulus?"

"We're just talking."

"Are you fucking kidding me? Why? You know he's a no-good, filthy pure-blood." Sirius scoffed. He knew it was wrong, but he needed to vent his anger out desperately. 

"He's a good kid." Octavia almost shouted. She knew what Sirius was going through, but he had no right to take it out on his little brother.

"He's not. He's just like his parents."

"Yeah, well at least he didn't betray his best friend and almost get another student killed." Octavia deadpanned as Regulus stood in silence, too scared to say anything.

Silence filled the air, and Sirius' chest felt like it was clenching. He drew a deep breath and nodded his head. "Yeah."

"You know Sirius, when you left that household, everything turned to him-"

"Octavia.." Regulus warned, not wanting a fight between the two friends to start.

"No, Regulus, he needs to hear." Octavia turned back to Sirius, who was welling up with tears. "He copped everything you had, maybe worse. And he never had anyone stable to talk about it to because his brother hated his guts. Do you know how wrong that is?"

Sirius nodded his head once again, before raising his eyes to Regulus. He looked at his little brother. He was holding himself, his head hung down low. Sirius knew he was overstepping his boundaries, but he took a step forward and wrapped his arms around the boy.

They both stood their awkwardly for a while, having not done this since they were about seven years old. Eventually they pulled apart and said their goodbyes; Octavia and Sirius heading off to the Gryffindor common room. When they got there, the three others were sitting around talking. Octavia went there straight away, while Sirius stood in his spot.

He knew it wasn't his place, but he needed to be forgiven. He walked over there slowly and sat next to Octavia, across from Remus. They all kept talking, and while no one was paying attention, Remus sent Sirius a quick and wordless nod.

That was all Sirius needed to stop beating himself up, and smile for the first time today.

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published [16/3/2017]

note [sorry for the shit chapter, I'll get motivated sometime soon!]