Moment of Truth

Chapter 47: Pissed

"I can't believe this!" Yuzuru practically screams once we get back to his dressing room after his short program.

Yuzuru had the worst short program of the whole season and I know he's not happy about it. He came off the ice practically crying his eyes out but he said it was just sweat from working so hard. I stood off to the side the whole time he was in the Kiss & Cry. I followed him back to his dressing room and now he's letting all his frustrations out. I make sure that no one else enters as they don't need to see Yuzuru like this. I know he can only be okay for so long.

"I couldn't skate that program perfect all season long!" Yuzuru exclaims angrily. "All I wanted to go was skate a clean program once with this program and I can't even do that."

Yuzuru sits down in a chair and holds his head in his hands. His body shakes with his sobs. I sit down at his feet and lean my head against his knees. I know to wait before consoling him. He needs time to grieve this past performance especially when he knows that he did not do his best. Once his body stops shaking, I move my body so that I'm sitting with my knees below me and I'm facing Yuzuru. I gently take his hands from his face. Yuzuru looks at me with this defeated look on his face and tears down his cheeks. I grab a tissue from Pooh-San as I am holding him by my side. I carefully wipe Yuzuru's face clean of tears. I give Yuzuru a gentle smile.

"Now, Yuzuru," I say softly. "Have you gotten everything out of your system?"

"I'm so mad, Mai," Yuzuru whispers back. He takes a hold of one of my hands. "Why couldn't I perform a clean skate for this program?"

"Oh, Yuzuru. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I know you didn't mean to not perform a clean skate. But you can't let that get you down. And in this competition, your scores are not added together. You still have the free skate and if I know you like I should, you will pull off something amazing. You're so amazing on the ice. But it's okay to fail and work your way back up to the top."

Yuzuru looks at me in the eyes. I continue to smile with a sense of gentleness and comfort.  I lie my head on his knees as a child might to her mother. I can still hear Yuzuru sniffling.

"Mai, how do you know exactly what to say? You're always there for me. I don't know what I would do without you," Yuzuru says lowly. He grips onto my hand as if it might slip out from him.

"Yuzuru, I've learned a lot about you and this sport in the time I've become your translator and there is one this I've learned for sure: you can get right back up and keep skating. No matter how hard the fall is, you get up and keep going like nothing happened. I'm sure if Coach Brian was here, he would try to talk to you in the same way. I know you hate not being at the top, but you're only human. And like all humans, you will fall. But I'm here for you 100% of the way. Your coaches are here for you. Even your whole country is here for you. But I will be your rock even if you don't need me. You are not alone and you will rise back up. Now, we are going to go back out there and do some interviews because there are plenty of people waiting for you. Can you go and do that?"

"For you, I will. I'm glad you're in my life, Mai. I wouldn't ask for anyone else."

Yuzuru stands up from the chair and helps me up. He wraps his arms around my shoulders in a tight hug. I wrap my arms around his torso in a similar fashion. We stand there for a moment before I pull away from the hug first. I kiss Yuzuru's cheek and I receive a smile for it. Yuzuru kisses my forehead and I smile back. Yuzuru takes my hand and leads me out of the room. We walk out and Coach Tracy is standing by the door. She doesn't say anything as she pat Yuzuru on the back and gives him a warm smile. She leads us over to the area where there are lots of media personals standing around waiting for Yuzuru to talk to them.

Yuzuru conducts multiple interviews and I stand by his side as he wants me there. He holds onto my hand with a grip that says 'please don't go'. I squeeze his hand in a comforting way every once and a while so he knows that I'm here for him. Not once did he let go of my hand and not once did I ever think of letting go. I will stand by Yuzuru's side as long as he wants me to. Nothing will stop me from showing my support for him. I know he wants to be strong all the time, but I will be his shoulder when he crumbles. Like today and any day that comes afterwards until the day he decides he's done with the sport. Even then, I'll be by his side with whatever he wants to do. There's just no stopping now.