Chapter nineteen...

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He's sad, I know he is.

There's no question about it.

Depressed? Maybe. Angry? Definitely. Sad? Of course.

My little brother, the one I grew up with. The only one who mattered throughout my life and now, now he is angry with me.

I wanted independence, is it so bad? Mum and dad aren't breathing down my neck anymore, and I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Josh never knew what it was like with me, he's smart and talented and a genuinely nice guy. Then there's me, I was supposed to be the smart older brother but my grades are only just making it, I am not talented in any shape or form. And I couldn't be properly nice to anyone unless I knew them. I am a 'difficult child' as any teacher or adult would say, basically calling me an idiot who causes trouble.

Josh can draw, paint and used to sing. I knew his grade were miles ahead of me, so I turned from studying to parties and friends. I became the 'popular with the disabled brother' and as much as I liked the popularity I knew everyone was always walking on eggshells around me.

I love him so much, he is my family.

I miss him when he's not at home, when he is with Matthew I'm grumpier.

But then when he gets back... I'm an ass. I know I am, I don't want to be but my friends know me as the 'bad boy' I don't want to throw that away.

I really do love him but this is the first time people have been real with me, he can have it so easy sometimes. He doesn't hear what people say about our family, I know they're terrible and I know that he hates them. But until he's old enough I can't legally take him from here. As soon as he is 18 I'm taking him and Angel and we are getting our own place. It will be in London so he can still see Matthew and I can see my friends.

I just want him to be happy... but, I know he won't be happy. I don't know how to help him.

He shuts me out, I'm so lost.

I want to comfort him and care for him... but he makes it so much more difficult when he does things like this.

I mean, I'm not blaming him I know he hates it at home but I need him just as much as he doesn't want me.

He's my lifeline... he goes? I go too. I knew exactly what he meant when he said he's going home, he was going to the only place he'd ever felt loved and at peace. I want to help him so badly, but... but he won't let me. No, he won't let anyone in.

But then he met Matthew, currently the 'hottest bachelor' in the city. That man who made my baby brother smile again, I owe him the world.

Me and Aunt Mag are now sat in the kitchen waiting for Josh to get home, Matthew took him to his apartment for a while.

"I hate myself so much." I said softly, running a hand down my face.

"Sweetie, you know none of us knew. We couldn't stop him." She spoke in a soft, motherly tone.

"You don't know him like I do," I paused. "like I did. He changed and we both know it was their death and your daughters Aunt Mag I hate to break it to you."

She sighed. "I know Henry, I know it's them but every time I punish them it doesn't stop them."

"Aunt Mag-" I was cut off by the sound of the door opening. In hopes of Josh walking through I moved from my seat at the breakfast bar.

Unfortunately, I was greeted by none other than Melissa and Sarah. Great...

"Oh look you're back, that means the disabled one is too." She scrunched her face up at her own words. That's it. I stormed over and grabbed the collar of her shirt, bringing her off the floor slightly.

"I swear to god Melissa if you so much as look in my brother's general direction I will rip out your fake ass extensions out and show everyone in my college just who you are truly." Her eyes widened and watered as I spoke.

"M-mum..." she whimpered.

"Don't cry to me Mel, you brought this on yourself." I cheered mentally at Aunt Mag's comment.

"And you, get a grip on your life before you both end up alone with too many damn cats." I said to Sarah as she watched her sister shake in fear.

It was around half an hour later when the door opened and closed again. I was sat, once again, at the breakfast bar. Glancing up I see the one face I've been waiting for.

I sprang out of my seat and rushed him into a hug. I know he can't hear me but I repeatedly said sorry into his ear as his slimmer arms wrapped tightly around my torso.

I pulled back, signing sorry I watched his eyes flash a million emotions.

'You're forgiven. I'm sorry too.' 

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