Like Totally

Chapter Sixty

"Cause you and I, we were born to die..."

Song: Born To Die

Artist: Lana Del Rey

I have a feeling that I used that song before. I don't know.

I'm looking at the ocean right now and it's pretty nice in all its saltwater glory.

P.S. Yesterday, I saw a dolphin jump out of the water :D

Happy Reading!

CHAPTER SIXTY:

Adrian:

I went to sleep screaming and I woke up screaming. Seriously, I woke up screaming but it wasn't because I was in pain or anything like that. It was worse. The fear of truly being dead. How is it possible that I'm standing to the side of a hospital bed watching myself sleep right now? I thought this stuff only happened in movies. Where the person wakes up to find themselves dead and they realize that they can't truly crossover because they have unfinished business to take care of? Yeah, that's completely theatrical.

The thing is it's happening to me! Am I dead? As I fear the answer to my question I'm bold enough to take a small lean in closer to examine myself. The battered me. The Adrian in the hospital bed doesn't look so good. I'm actually wondering how the heart monitor is still beeping steadily for her... me. It doesn't look like I'll be able to make it much longer.

There are IV's coming out from my wrist, along with cords that I'm not medically certified to label, bruises and cuts on my face and hands, and an oxygen tube that is carrying fresh air into my lungs. The lungs that I'm almost positive would fail if they had to try and work on their own. That one piece of equipment could kill me completely if it was moved just an inch from my mouth. I know it. I don't know how I know it but I do and that terrifies me.

Gasping now, I begin to stumble backwards, not coming to terms with the actual state that my body is really in. This can't truly be the end of me! I mean, I get that I'm breathing now but I'm obviously going to die or else God wouldn't have allowed me the chance to see everything one final time. When my back hits the wall, I don't know what to do. So I just stand and wait. I'm not sure what or who I'm waiting on but in the movies someone always helps the ghost. Always.

As I stand and wait I think back to the last memory I have. All I can remember is me sitting in a car completely upside down as I watched my biological father hold a gun towards myself, and then my screaming. Everything else that happened afterwards is fuzzy. I don't remember anyone else being there to help and I don't remember coming to the hospital. Maybe I really do have a guardian angel by my side to help me out.

Or maybe you just want to believe that. I don't know what I want to believe now. I don't know how any of this shit is working but I need a sign and I need some fucking help. If this is happening to me then shouldn't this be happening to Sophia? There is no way in hell that she is lucky and alive. If she is then that's amazing but why do I always have to get handed the complicated shit. Why does everyone else get the easy route?

Why did God choose me to have such a fun time with? I'm sure he's enjoying the time he has watching me lose my freaking marbles down here. Watching my 'actual' self slowly die right before my very eyes. Isn't my own blood killing me suffer enough? I know that I put all the blame on him and I never wanted to associate him with being my parent but he shot his children. He kidnapped us, tortured us, and put us through this hell and I'm still being challenged!