Childhood Bestfriends with Hollywood's Golden Boy

Childhood Bestfriends with Hollywood's Golden Boypart 33

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Chapter 33

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RECAP :

I nodded, knowing that if I spoke I would probably start crying.

I took my seat opposite Marissa who was smiling and chatting to her mum, trying to compensate for my watery eyed smile and complete silence.

All I could do was shove the sticky, syrupy pancakes into my mouth and try not to cry.

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I plunged my spoon into the partially melted tub of cookie dough ice cream that I had balanced on my crossed legs, trying to make sure none of it dripped onto Marissa’s bright white bed sheets and duvet. The cookie dough felt granularly against my mouth and the vanilla ice cream felt too cold on the roof of my mouth as I swallowed.

“ Do you think I made a mistake? I should have listened shouldn’t I?” I asked, after I finished re-telling her the whole of last night’s disaster. I sank back against the wooden headboard of Marissa’s bed as she watched me from end of the bed.

I felt my eyes well up slightly and my throat started to feel tight as I remembered Ari’s face when I told him ‘I wish I hadn’t’.

He had looked like I’d stabbed him, his eyes had been wide in shock and I couldn’t remember him ever looking so hurt.

Not when he broke his wrist when he was twelve.

Not even when he got his first leading role and he told me how upset he was that his father wouldn’t ever see what he’d done. He had looked so lost that night, almost as if he was realising again how his fathers death when he was so little had meant he was going to miss out on being there for lots of the big moments his life. Just thinking of his face that night made me tear up, but the thought of his face last night; my whole chest hurt. It was like someone was placing pressure on my ribcage, squeezing my lungs as my throat felt thick.

I felt my eyes blurr with tears and I wiped my eyes with the borrowed grey hoodie jumper that Marissa leant me. It was already damp.

I hated that I had made him look that way, that I had hurt Ari – made him feel even remotely upset. I couldn’t believe I had said that. I knew I was lying when I said it, as the words left my mouth, but it just ran out from me.

“ I don’t know.” Marissa said softly.

“ My phone buzzed for the second time that hour. We both sat there and watched my phone on the bedside table. New message. I could see Ari’s number come up on the front.

“ I should have listened to him shouldn’t I? I just …” I sighed, “ I don’t know, Taylor Cutter was standing there with those pictures of them.. and they-..” I took in a deep raghed breath and pointed to the copy of the magazine that Marissa had lying on the bed across from us. She’d flicked through it earlier to see what the article looked like. She’d been silent, which I knew meant she had been really pissed.

When Marissa is actually angry, she goes silent.

“ They looked so… coupley. I felt like I was the last person who was in on the joke? You know?” I wiped my nose with a tissue.