First Love and Other Regrets

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It was only first week of eighth grade.

You walked down the hall trying to be as little as possible. But of course, they always noticed you. Quarterback Alan Johnson shoved past you, knocking your books from your arms and blowing a raspberry. How mature.

You silently picked up your things and scurried away to your locker.

Torrington Academy. Been there since kindergarten, and everything was fine until your best friends moved miles away from you.

When Arin and Allen tearfully said their goodbyes through the phone, you just knew life from then on was going to be hell. They were all you had.

Okay, so you had your father, but aside from the times when he would give you stuffed toys and Swiss chocolates he never talked to you. When he was in the kitchen you read in the attic, when he was in his office you were in the garden. You lived in the same house but considering how you two have grown apart you might as well have lived on different planets.

The whole point of school was to be a home away from home, but now it was worse than your empty house. The bullies got meaner and dumber and bitchier.

The pain that the twins helped ease swelled in your chest. You happily left the campus, but you didn't go straight home. You drove to the beach, it was August so no one else was there. Perfect.

You breathed in the salty air. You've been coming here since you were a kid, usually to write, but when the twins left you found a better way to relax.

You kicked off your shoes and slid out your sweater and jeans. A million tiny ice shards poked your skin as you waded into the water, but you didn't mind.

You took a deep breath and dove in.

The seawater scraped your eyes and the cold water made strained your every shove and thrust. You often thought about what it'd be like for the sea to claim you, pull you into its depths and have you disappear.

You never really tried anything. Not yet.

When you rose to the surface the sky was now a clear dark blue. You gathered your hair to one side and returned to land.

As you dried off with a small towel, someone spoke "For a moment there I thought you weren't coming back"

Jason Jones shoved his fists into his coat and you quickly folded your arms in front of you.

"It's a little too early for the beach, isn't it?"

You refused to meet his gaze. Your chest and stomach burned with humiliation.

"Whatever. It's still better than summer, all those people running around" He chuckled. "Jason Jones, by the way. I'm in your—"

"American History, I know."

"I'm flattered"

You shrugged "It's a small school" Everyone grew up together in Torrington. Newbies were aliens, a completely different species. The Jones family, Manhattan natives, moved in a month ago and were still the talk of the town. He was also your next-door neighbor. But this was the first time you two have acknowledged each other's presence.

"Small town" He sighed "Fucking Mrs. Johnson wouldn't stop asking me about New York"

You snorted and he grinned.

"Mrs. Johnson's husband is a lech." You muttered, "He's the fucking Humbert of Westerberg Street."

"Is he?" Jason walked closer.

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