Lyra's Big Change

Chapter 4

Chapter 4  Memories

20 minutes later, we arrived at my house. I was anxious, yet nervous to go into my house. It was MY house, but why did I feel like I had no right to be there?

"Do you want me to come and help you?" Amanda asked me.

"It doesn't matter." The words slipped out of my mouth before I could really think about what I was saying. Did I really want Amanda going through my stuff, my personal stuff with me? I went to the kitchen and grabbed 8 trash bags and went up to my room. Boy was I going to miss it; my purple and pink walls, my closet with my secret hideaway place, and all of my furniture.

"Just pack what you need sweet heart, we will go shopping in a few days to redo our guest room in our house."

I started going through my night stand and my book shelf, grabbing cosmetics, bags, journals, and craft sets that I had bought over the years. While Amanda went through my closet and drawers and put all my clothes into trash bags. In less than an hour, I had everything packed that I needed to bring with me. I had 3 bags of clothes, 1 of dirty clothes and shoes, and 3 bags of everything else.

"Okay do you have everything that you need?" Amanda asked me.

"Yeah, I do, do you want me to make a pot of coffee for you? I'm going to go grab a glass of orange juice."

"Okay, only make 2 or 3 cups worth of coffee though, that will be fine, while you do that I'm going to put these bags into the car."

I carried down 1 more bag and put them near the front door. Then went into the kitchen, made the coffee, and poured myself some juice. I waited while the coffee finished and Amanda poured herself a cup and we both went back upstairs.

"I know this is going to be hard, but is there anything that you want of your fathers?" 

"Yeah." I said while choking back tears.

I walked into his room and started to cry, it looked like him, it smelled like him, it reminded me of him, and I didn't like that. In his room was everything my father was into, everything he was and wanted to be, everything that I wanted to be. I sat on his bed and Amanda sat beside me and tried to comfort me. I didn't want her to but having her hug me close made me feel a little better. I really needed to pee at that point, but decided that I was going to go in the goodnight because I just didn't care. I didn't know what it felt like but just sitting there I couldn't just go, I tried but it wasn't working. Once I was calmed down, I got up and went to my dad's closet. He had a cedar wood chest in there. So, I pulled it out and once I had it open, instead of sitting, I crouched down. While crouching, I tried peeing again, and it started to work; once I was done, I then sat, and it felt funny. I kind f liked the feeling, it was warm, like a soft mushy pillow permanently stuck on my butt. I went through the chest, it had all of my dad's personal belongings in it including picture albums of my mom; I started to get emotional again so I stopped and closed the lid.

"Um, this is all of my father's personal stuff, I want to keep all of it, can I just keep the entire chest?"

"Of course, we can put it in your room, would you like to get anything else that belonged to you father Lyra?"

I thought for a moment, the chest had all kinds of stuff in it. From my first communion to picture albums, scrap books, my mother's diaries, places my father worked, souvenirs from places we traveled, and I had everything I wanted except for one thing. I went to my father's top dresser drawer and opened it. I grabbed his big t-shirt that I made for him when I was 8. It had my tiny hand prints all over it, and said "I Love You Daddy" on the back. I put it on top of my mother's jewelry box that sat on his night stand and then put them both into the chest. 

"I'm ready now."

"Okay, let's go."

"Wait a second, one more thing."

"What is it?" Amanda asked with curiosity.

"I think I had an accident." Which was kind of a lie since I did it on purpose, but I didn't want to say that.

"You can tell." Amanda replied.

"How?!?!?" I asked feeling quite embarrassed.

"Because you're saggy in the front. Go to the car and get a new one as well as the powder and wipes. Then go to the bathroom and change. I will take the chest to the car while you do that."

"Okay."

I went to the car and got the stuff I was supposed to. I went to the bathroom and pulled down my shorts; I saw that the goodnight was mushy and did swell up a bit in the front. I finally pulled it down after I examined the swelly-ness of it. It made a plop sound when it fell onto the tile. I wiped and powdered myself, put the new one on and pulled my shorts back up. I threw the old one in the trash and headed downstairs. I grabbed a granola bar out of a jar from the kitchen and locked the house door on my way out.

"All ready?" Amanda asked.

"Yeah, we are going to your house now?" I asked in return.

"We have to stop one more place, and then we can."

The car pulled out of the driveway and I only wondered; where were we going?