Lyra's Big Change

Chapter 10

Chapter 10    The Aftermath

My father's funeral hit me pretty hard. For the next two weeks I did nothing but sat around in my room, or in the laundry room, and cried. There were so many memories of him. I knew that Amanda was starting to get worried about me. The only time I saw her was when she changed me or when she brought me a small portions of food. I wasn't eating very much, but even I knew I had to eat something just to keep me going. I was wearing diapers 24/7 and I usually had to get changed about once around dinner time, and when I woke up.

Today, Amanda found me sitting in front of the washing machine, watching the laundry wash. I was up earlier than usual and was just sitting there, in my t-shirt and my wet diaper, softly crying.

"Morning cutie." Amanda said in her usual morning cheeriness. 

"Mmdhmfem..." I mumbled back.

"So do you want cereal or eggs?" She asked me.

I didn't reply.

"Come on sweetie, I can't help you if all you do is hide and not talk to me. Please baby, just say something, tell me that you need a change, or that you want ice cream, anything." Amanda said desperately for about the 10th time this week.

For some reason I just now felt the sadness in her eyes. Hers probably just as great as mine. She has me, the little girl she always wanted, but I'm ruining it by not talking. Sure my daddy died, and I will always miss him, forever, but it is time for me to move on.

"Um, Amanda?" I asked her in a very soft voice.

"Yes?" she said with a hint of excitement.

"I miss my daaa-aaa-aaaaddyyyyyyyyy!" I wailed. 

"Oh Lyra, I know. It's okay, I will always be here for you." She said to me, as she too started crying.

I hugged her really close, and she picked me up and sat on the couch with me in her lap in the living room. This was the best cry I had yet, because I had someone to cry with. After about an hour of crying, my cold wet diaper was starting to get uncomfortable.

"c-can you ch-change m-me please?" I asked Amanda, looking at her with my puffy red eyes. I didn't even notice at the time, that I had my thumb in my mouth.

"Okay, stay here, I will be right back." 

She went to the bathroom and emerged with a new diaper, wipes, some baby oil, and baby powder. I laid down like usual and she proceeded to take my wet diaper off and change me. When she was done, I sat up and she wrapped her arm around me.

"Thanks, Mommy." I said to her and put my thumb back into my mouth.  "Any time darling." She said getting teary again.

"How about some eggs?"

Amanda got up and headed to the kitchen and cracked two eggs and put them in the frying pan. About 20 minutes later, she came back out and picked me up to carry me to the kitchen to eat. I was put down and I went to go sit in a chair, I dragged my chair closer to Amanda's chair and sat, leaning on her staring at my eggs.

"Come on Lyra, you've got to eat something." She said.

"Um... can you... well, I mea--- , uh, I wan...y." I stuttered, trying to get my words out.

She picked up my fork and started to feed me. Scoop by scoop, all the scrambled eggs made it into my mouth, with a fair amount falling onto my lap. After Amanda was done feeding me, she took a wet cloth and wiped my mouth. She went to go put the wet cloth away and ended up rummaging around in the cabinets looking for something.

"I know it's here somewhere." She said to herself. After about 10 minutes, she finally said "Aha, found it."

A bottle? She had a bottle? I wonder where she got that and why she had it... she went to the fridge after washing it and out some chocolate milk in it. She closed the cap tight, and came to pick me back up. She carried me to the living room again, but this time went to sit in the big squishy recliner. She set me down so that I was laying across her lap with me head in her arms. She fed me the bottle. We didn't say much, but for the first time, I felt a real closeness to her. It was like nothing in the world could harm me as long as I was in her arms, I was safe. When the bottle was almost empty, I felt myself pee in my diaper and I drifted off to sleep.